Kimi to Taiyou ga Shinda hi
by Yuuaku Hikari
Summary: My life crumbled into pieces when you died and when the sun died with you that day...  Minor Twincest, but it's gonna be a good story! D:
1. Color Me Dark

We've always been together, haven't we? Ever since the day we were born, I haven't left your side and you haven't left mine. All we knew about the world was what we allowed into ours. Nobody and nothing else. We didn't need them. We had each other. Other boys would want to play with us, but we shut them down; we didn't need them. Girls tried to approachus, but we shut them down; we didn't need them. We didn't like them, anyway. Girls were gross, always have been and always will be. Or, at least, that's what we agreed at the time. So I wonder, even to this day, when exactly the world we let in began to change the one we've always known. For as long as I can remember, our world consisted of two things: you, and me.

Only you and me.

* * *

**Color Me Dark**

* * *

"Ne, Roku-chan~" I freeze. There's only one person in the entire world that would call me that. I look over my shoulder, turning my attention away from the sketches I was just working on and onto the somebody walking into my room. Well, our room. He is my twin brother, afterall.

"I told you not to call me that, Venii-san," I grumble a little. I hate being called "Roku-chan". It sounds so demeaning...and girly. And the last time I checked, I sure as hell am not a girl. "But I need your help, Roku-chan...~" Ventus whines. Help? Let me guess: with homework.

"With homework?" I put my thoughts into words and ask him that question. "Haha, yeah...You know I suck at schoolwork, Roku-chan," he rubs the back of his neck and grins sheepishly. I sigh, throwing my elbow over the back of my chair and give him an unamused look. It was a brief moment of silence before either of us spoke again.

"Okay, let me see it," I say, holding out my hand to take the pieces of paper that had homework printed on them. His sheepish smile turns into a bright, excited one, and he hands me his homework before grabbing his own chair and shoving it next to mine. I skim over his homework to see what it was he was having so much trouble with. English. Great.

"Alright, you see this phrase?" I ask, pointing to the first one. He nods his head and replies, "Yeah. I have no idea what it says." He says it with such a tone like it's no big deal to him. I sigh. This is going to take a while...

* * *

My name is Roxas Kusabana. Ventus onii-san is my twin, older by ten minutes. We're both sixteen years old. Ever since we were kids, we were always together. It took a lot to separate us; we wouldn't let each other go, even when it was time to take a bath. My brother would always hug me tightly, sometimes to the point where I couldn't breathe, and say to our parents, "But I need to be with Roxas because he might drown!" He was picking on me then, too. But I knew it was out of love.

We shared a room, and while we had our own beds we usually ended up sleeping in the same one. Not really out of loneliness, but more so because our damn bedroom couldn't make up its mind about the temperature. On hot nights he slept in my bed because my bed was directly under the air conditioning vent; on cold nights I slept in his because, well, his wasn't. I remember the kind of warmth his bed had back then. It was soft and welcoming, and it was the kind of warmth that I could sleep in forever. Part of it was because whenever I slept in his bed on those cold nights, I would still shiver a little and to keep me warm, Venii-san would hold me close until long after I stopped and had fallen asleep. On quite a few occasions I woke up to find his arms still holding me, even long after I had stopped. It's possible that he could've fallen asleep before me and just stayed that way. But I knew it was out of love.

Venii-san and I, we're identical twins; identical, in the sense that you couldn't tell who was who just by looking at us. It's our actions, however, that set us apart.

Our personalities are total opposites. We are like two halves of the same whole, for if one twin doesn't have a certain trait, the other twin does. Venii-san is very athletic, for example. He loves to run and play games outside, especially with other people. I, on the other hand, do not. I've never been very good at sports, nor have I been one to play games with others. Venii-san is loud and confident, and is always straight-forward about things. I, however, tend to be very quiet and shy, and unlike him, I think things through to see if there's another solution. He has a lot of traits that I don't have. On that same token, I have a lot of traits that he doesn't have, either.

Not being very athletic, I tend to be more of an arts person. When we were forced to play outside when we were little, Venii-san would kick a football***** around to himself, letting his imagination run free. He was the world's greatest football player and the pride of Japan, undefeated at such a young age. I would sit under the tree in our background with a notebook and crayons and just draw whatever was within my view. I remember my mom being so proud of the scribble I called a butterfly and how "beautiful and realistic" it looked. That was when we were five. I've been improving since then, and now my butterflies really do look "beautiful and realistic". I'm also very musically talented. I play the piano and, without sounding like a cocky bastard, I play rather well. Venii-san, on the other hand, can't seem to sit still long enough to even bother learning how to play. My piano playing also helped me develop into a mean video game player. My fingers move faster than his and I don't have to constantly look down at the buttons to see just what I'm pressing. Even to this day, Venii-san challenges me to video games and boasts about how he's going to finally beat his little brother. It doesn't matter whether or not he's played it before and practiced playing it for a really long time. I always win.

With good traits also comes the bad ones. I mean, we're not exactly the perfect pair of teenagers. Venii-san is moody, and whenever our parents aren't around he often talks dirty. He's more of a physical person when it comes to anger, and he has bruises on his knuckles to prove it. He didn't hit anybody, no way. He wouldn't do that, unless someone really pisses him off. He usually punches the wall, though. Despite this physical violence of the estate, I think the scarier and more cruel one is me.

As the quiet twin, I don't always show what I'm feeling, especially if the emotion is negative. That's to be expected, right? People don't always want people to know when they're feeling sad or angry. But me, I'm a different story. I tend to be very cold towards others when I'm angry. If that person is the one who has made me angry, I get them back. Not with anything physical, like Venii-san would do, though. I hit where it hurts: in their heart. I can be emotionally manipulative if I so choose to be. I act like I care when people talk about their problems, when really I don't. I find their complaining very annoying and I wish they would shut up. I hate people. But not Venii-san.

I could never hate Venii-san.

The main difference between us, however, is how we interact with other people. Venii-san is out-going and very social. He has a lot of friends and they are always laughing and having fun. ...I don't have any friends. I keep to myself and don't speak unless spoken to. It feels awkward, to be honest. All my life, the only person I ever needed was Venii-san. He was always there, always by my side. To us, we were the only people we could trust, confide in. We had a wall surrounding us from the outside world that nobody, not even our parents when they were around, could get through. He was the only person I needed, and he was the only person I would ever need. Just like how I was the only person he needed, and I was the only person he would ever need.

* * *

"...now do you understand how to read this?" I ask, glancing over at him after explaining it over about two or three times. He seems to be in deep thought and doesn't say a word. The silence goes on for a while. I groan in despair and my forehead hits my desk, dreading the probability that I would have to go over it...again. He opens his mouth to speak, but before any sound comes out of those lips that look just like mine, some musical tune goes off.

**_RINGITY DING DING DINGA DOOOOONG_**

**_RINGITY DONG DING DOOOOONG_**

**_DING DING DA DINGY DOOOOONG_**

**_RINGY DING DING DOOOOONG_**

I recognize it as his cell phones ring tone, and I raise my head a little to look at him. God, that song is so stupid. Those lips shut as his hand forces its way into his pocket and fumbles around for his phone. I stare at him in shock and disbelief. Was it really on the whole time I was tutoring him?

**_RINGITY DING DING DINGA DOOOOONG_**

**_RINGITY DONG DIN-_**

"Hello?" he answers and finally ends that annoying ringtone. Damn you, Venii-san. Of all the ringtones you could've downloaded...

"Oh! No, I'm not busy. In fact, Roxas just finished helping me understand our English homework." Venii-san never refers to me as "Roku-chan" when speaking to others, and I never refer to him as "Venii-san". When we're not alone, we just call each other by our names: Roxas, and Ven. It was something unusual between us, but I think it makes our relationship as brothers special. I just wish I knew who he's talking to.

"Yeah! I'll be right over!" he exclaims with a grin, leaping up onto his feet. That startles me and I jolt in my chair, leaning backwards and almost falling off. He grabs my wrist and pulls me back up so I wouldn't. Even though we've grown up quite a bit, he still looks out for me. I love my brother.

"Oh, and can I-" he gets cut off by whoever is on the other side of the line. I can hear a girl's voice, but I can't understand what she's saying. "...how come?" he asks, that grin on his face beginning to fade into oblivion. There's more talking on the phone. Venii-san seems to have been turned down for something. ...but what?

"...oh. I see," he speaks softly. What did he want to do? "Yeah. Don't worry about it. Be over in a few, see ya." I sit up in my chair as he hits the "End" button and shuts his phone. "I'm going out for a bit, Roku-chan. I'll be back before dinner," he places his phone back into his pocket. "What was that all about?" I ask, watching as he turns to walk out the door. I'm surprised to see him freeze in his step.

"Ehh, that was Kairi. She wanted to know if I could hang out with her, Sora, and Riku today," he replies. I can sense something...wavering, in his voice. A sting stabs me in the chest at hearing the name "Kairi". I don't like her. I never really have. It's not that she has a bad attitude; she's really popular and has fun with everyone, just like Venii-san.

"Ahh. I see," I nod my head. "Do you want me to see you out?"

"Nah, I think I know my way to the front door by now," he grinned jokingly. I chuckle a little. Venii-san is one of the only people who can bring a smile to my face. Well, him and Sora whenever he comes over. Sora Hikarine is Venii-san's best friend. I mean, besides me, of course. I'm Venii-san's best friend. I've always been his best friend. But Sora is different. He's really the only other person that I can feel comfortable being around and that I would allow to come over often. It's because he makes Venii-san happy. And if Venii-san is happy, I'm happy.

"Alright...I hope you guys have a good time. Dinner will probably be ready by the time you get back, so don't make me wait!" I stand up and stretch with my arms high up into the air. My back is a little stiff from sitting in that damn chair for so long.

"Of course! How can I miss an opportunity to eat your food?" he looks appalled, as if I just offended him. "Huh? My cooking isn't that great!" Now I'm acting offended. Really, my cooking isn't anything special. I really only know a few simple dishes. Most of the time a neighbor drops off food or we get take-out. Our area recently opened a shop that sells pizza, some food from America and other parts of the country that's like a giant, doughy disk covered in tomato sauce, spices, cheese, and meats. Maybe we could try that for dinner.

"Yes it is! Way better than mine, and ever since Kaa-san -" he freezes. We both look to the ground awkwardly. A lingering air of guilt and sadness hangs over our heads, but only briefly. It's best to get over these things quickly before it starts to swell.

"Anyway...I'm off!" he proclaims, snapping out of it and walking out of our room. "Take care of yourself!" I call after him, getting a fairly distant "Okay!" as a response.

I step over to his bed and crawl onto it, staring out the window down at the sidewalk by our home. Within two minutes I see Venii-san running in the direction of Kairi's house.

Kairi.

Out of all the people in this world I hate, I hate Kairi the most. She's not ugly, I'll admit. She's not vulgar, true. But she is, in fact, a bitch. She's a bitch and I hate her. She's really popular and has fun with everyone, just like Venii-san. So why is it that I'm the only one who hates her? Because she ruined everything. She entered our lives two years ago and did something. Her face was younger and she looked innocent and happy. She wanted us to hang out so we could get to know each other. Something that seemed so small and insignificant at the time couldn't possibly have had this effect on my life so much later down the road, right? Wrong. I hate her. She's the one who dared to enter our world, the one Venii-san and I created together and built over so many years: the world of just me and him. She's the one who tempted me and Venii-san to venture out and be lost in the world outside of ours. She's the one who broke our wall and she's the one who lured Venii-san out into it. She's the one who took him away from me. From our world. The world that we've known for so long, that consisted of "us". She's the one who took his hand and led him away, but she didn't take mine.

She's the one who left me, and only me, behind.

After Venii-san is gone from view, I fall back onto his bed and stare up at the ceiling. I already know what was going on. He could always sense the tension in me whenever he brought her up. So every chance he got, he would ask if he could bring me along. The answer, for whatever reason, was always "no". That didn't stop him from asking today. It seemed that he was really hoping she would say "yes" this time, judging by that big smile he wore on his face. Naturally, the answer was "no", so that beautiful smile dwindled away. She made Venii-san sad. I hate her even more for that.

I close my eyes after a while of staring and roll over onto my side, burying my face into his pillow. It smells just like the strawberry-scented shampoo he uses, just like Venii-san. It's so different from my shampoo, which smells like coconut. My scent has nothing on his, though. Even though we look exactly the same, I believe that he's the beautiful twin. Not me. His smile is different from mine. His eyes shine differently from mine. His hair even has a different softness from mine. That could just be me, though. Maybe I just look at him differently than everyone else does.

Of course I should. He's my brother. We love each other no matter what, and we won't let anybody get in the way of that. That's why Venii-san is trying so hard to get Kairi to accept me. That must be why. Because I know it's out of love. I love my brother.

"...you're too good to me...Ven."

* * *

**Author's Note:**

I wanted to write a Rokuven (?) fanfiction, since the fandom doesn't have enough stories. It's quite sad, actually. So it's mostly one-sided stuff, and minor twincest (gasp), but it's nothing you little chickies can't handle. ;D

Epic kudos to you if you can guess where I got the title from. HINT: it's from an anime. DOUBLE HINT: it's an anime about zombies. ; A ; *does not like zombies* (But the anime is epic anyway bahahaha)

I wanted this to be a bit more of a serious and dramatic love story, since I'm a girl and I like that stuff. XD *shot* But seriously. Just picturing Ven and Roxas as twin brothers and with one loving the other but not ever telling? How can you not fall for that? O:

A lot of the back story behind Ven's and Roxas's parents has yet to be explained. But all shall be in due time, my loves. xD As for "Like You", I am still brainstorming on that. D: I do know this much about chapter 4, however: Axel will be introduced. :D Yay!

The titles for each chapter will be the title for a song from an anime. Guess the anime and you get a free digital cookie! :D

football* = Unlike in America, in Japan and various other parts of the world (ex. Spain), soccer is not called "soccer". It's called "football", since it is a ball game you play with your feet. Go figure, eh?

Roxas calls Ven "Venii-san", which is just a little nickname I made up for him since calling him "Ventus onii-san" would be too long and just "Ven nii-san" would look weird. So I combined the second and thus you get "Venii-san". :D

If you can guess what Ven's ringtone is, you win epically at life. :)

**Disclaimer -**

**I do not own anything. Kingdom Hearts belongs to Tetsuya Nomura and Square-Enix. All characters belong to their respective owners.**


	2. Innocent Blue

_The two of us stand in front of a carved stone, Venii-san and I. We're holding hands, our fingers turning blue and numb from how hard we're squeezing each others tiny digits. I remember now. We were about eight years old when this scene first played. I remember how sad we were that day. I remember how we fought the tears that would try to come to our eyes. But we knew we were losing the battle, no matter how hard we squeezed each others hands to keep from doing so. We had to be strong. We couldn't cry. We couldn't cry. We couldn't..._

_I think Venii-san broke first. His cerulean eyes, wide and glassy, were just streaming out tears. He tried to wipe them away, but to no avail. Trying to get rid of them only made more come. I knew he was on the verge of losing his composure, and so I let go of his hand. Free from his grasp, I took him into mine, and held him tightly. His arms swung around my tiny body and held even tighter. I heard the most pathetic, heart-wrenching cry that day. But I tried not to cry. If Venii-san was broken, I had to be the one there to fix him. I had to be the strong one to help him when he was weak. I had to be there for him. I had to be._

_Now that Kaa-san was gone._

* * *

**Innocent Blue**

**

* * *

**

I don't remember exactly when I dozed off. All I know was that I was dreaming just now, about what happened at our mother's burial. I feel something cool on my cheek, and my hand goes to see what it is. Water? No...a tear. Was I just crying in my sleep? I guess Kaa-san's death hit me a little harder than I'm aware of. But I'm not the one suffering here; Venii-san is. I don't know why, but he seems to have something bothering him whenever it comes to her death. I desperately want to ask him, but I don't want to reopen old wounds. I couldn't do that to Venii-san.

I sit up and rub the sleep from my eyes with the back of my hand, checking the time on the alarm clock on his desk. It's almost six, huh...? How long was I out for? And shouldn't Venii-san be back by now? I lazily force myself up onto my feet and shuffle out of our bedroom, stepping to the combination kitchen and dining room. I find that after a quick scan of the area, nobody else is here. Damn it...where is he? Might as well call and see where he is. I reach into my shorts' pocket and search for my phone, but it's not there. Damn it! Where did I leave it this time?

I turn over whatever is on the dark-gray marble counter in the kitchen, but fail to find it. Maybe I left it in the living room? My next stop is in the small living room bordering the kitchen and dining room. Most of it is taken up by a large, red pull-out couch, a small maple coffee table, and a shelf that holds our t.v. and game systems. A lot of our game cases are on the fluffy white carpet in the living room. It's a big contrast from the tile we have in the kitchen. One hand dives inbetween two cushions of the couch. Nothing there except the long-lost t.v. remote that I thought someone stole a while back. I check the batteries. They're dead. Figures.

There's some homework left on the coffee table. I remove that as well. Nothing. Where is it? I'm about to return to our bedroom to resume my search there (which I really should have done in the first place, but I'm not that bright outside of school), when I hear the front door to our apartment room open. My head turns and I pause in my steps, my own pair of cerulean eyes meeting Venii-san's. He's carrying a box of pizza from that new pizzaria down the street.

"V-Ven...nii-san?" I stammer. "I tried calling your phone, but you didn't answer. I figured you fell asleep, so I picked up some dinner on the way home," he explains, stepping into our apartment and shutting the door behind him. I can smell the aroma of freshly baked bread, cheese, and meat with some sorts of spices. It smells delicious, and my nostrils twitch at the new scent.

"Oh...I see," I snap out of our staring, and go into the kitchen. My hands reach up and open up a black, wooden cupboard and I pull out two plates and two glasses. Our dishes look nothing alike. Venii-san's favorite color is sea-foam blue. I personally prefer black and white, especially when it's checkered.

My brother sets the cardboard box onto the counter and opens it, wanting to check out this food Americans called "pizza". I sneak a peak from over his shoulder. It looks edible, and by the way it smells, it probably does taste really good.

"How was it? With the others, I mean," I inquire. My hand passes him his favorite plate while my other is pouring water from our fridge. It's that sea-foam blue color he loves so much, with a black crown printed in the center. "It was okay." His response is blunt and vague. He grabs the plate from my hand and places a slice of pizza onto it. Some of the melted cheese is hanging over the side, though he doesn't seem to notice. "I prefer spending time with you, though, Roku-chan."

I think my heart just skipped a beat.

"Ahahaha, it couldn't have been _that_ boring, could it?" I chuckle nervously. Venii-san...preferred being with me over being with them? Roxas one, Kairi zero. Take that, you whore. "It was, believe me. I think it would've been more fun if-" His hand reaches over in front of my chest to grab my checker-patterned plate. Oops. "- you were able to come with me," he finishes his sentence as he brings my plate back in front of him. A slice of pizza is placed onto my plate. My stomach grumbles a little. Damn you Americans and your food.

"Heeeere ya go," he grins toothily and gently shoves my plate into my gut. My hands instinctively reach for it before it falls, caught a little off-guard. I watch as my brother makes his way into the living room and plops onto the couch. I'm still standing by the counter, trying to come up with the best way to ask about something that's been on my mind.

"...hey, Venii-san," my voice manages to break through my lips. "Yemf?" He looks over the back of the couch at me, his cheeks already stuffed with pizza and a tiny bit of the sauce is running down his chin. He's not exactly the most polite eater. "...do you know why Kairi doesn't like me?" He quickly swallows his food and looks away, as if unsure of what to say to answer me. Silence. Painful, awkward silence. I'm relieved to hear his voice when he finally speaks.

"Oh, why do you care so much about what she thinks about you? You know that Sora and Riku like you. And you know that I love you. So what if one girl doesn't?" he asks, shooting me with a serious glint in his eyes. His defending me brings a smile to my face. "Yeah...you're right," I nod slightly, grab my glass, and finally make my way over to the living room.

I sit on the couch beside him with my legs crossed. I pick up my slice of pizza and bring it up to my mouth when I notice out of the corner of my eye that he still has sauce on his chin. I can't help but stare and wonder if he'll notice it himself. He must have sensed my gaze, because he looks at me right before he takes another bite of his food.

"Whagt?" Again, he talks with his mouth full. "Uhh, you have a little something. Right here," I point at my chin with my free hand. Venii-san gulps down his mouthfull of food and touches his own chin with his hand. He finally sees that he has sauce. "Oops," he stares at his sauce-covered fingertip with wide eyes, a little embarrassed at his table manners. "Did you forget napkins?" I ask. He freezes, then laughs nervously. I sigh. He forgot to get napkins.

"Here," I set my food back down onto my checkered plate and set that plate down onto the coffee table. On my hands and knees, I crawl over closer with intention of cleaning his face. His eyes meet mine; my brother's are wide and confused, while mine are calm and indifferent. My lips part and my tongue pokes out a little as I get closer. I hear his body shuffle backwards a bit.

"Uhh, Roku-cha-" he squeaks in protest. I don't know what he thought I was going to do, because all I do is lick my thumb and wipe the sauce off of his face. His face is starting to turn red. "What? I'm just getting rid of it," I state bluntly, my thumb moving back and forth across his chin. After a few seconds, the pizza sauce is gone. "There. All gone," I move back to my spot on the couch and return to my cross-legged position. I don't hear a single noise come out of him as I reach down and grab my plate.

"What was with that squeak, anyway? Thinking I was going to do something dirty?" I am not amused. "Guh! N-N-No! I wasn't thinking that at all!" I can tell when he's lying. And right now, he's totally bullcrapping it. I take a bite of my pizza, letting my tastebuds absorb the new experience, and glance over at him. He's staring at me with a huge blush on his cheeks. Realizing that I'm staring back at him, he jumps a little, grabs his slice, and shoves the rest of it into his mouth. I can't help but laugh at his pitiful attempt to shovel it all in. Somehow, he manages to, and when it's been swallowed, he coughs violently.

"That's why you need to chew your food," I say, rather coldly, and take another bite while he collapses onto the rest of the couch, catching his breath. Hey, this stuff isn't that bad.

* * *

After dinner, I force Venii-sama to finish his homework.

"C'mon, Roku-chaaaan! I don't understand this stuff! Why don't you go to school tomorrow and I'll take your shift at the shop?" he tries to persuade me, clinging onto my sleeve. "It's because you don't understand this stuff that you need to go to school!" I snap back. I'm trying to wash the dishes before they start piling up.

The truth is, I don't go to school. Venii-sama teaches me what's going on at school at home. He goes to school to get an education so he can get a scholarship with his amazing football talent and go into a good college. I work in an ice cream shop. Our dad works overseas with a game designing company, and every month he sends us money to pay for the rent on our apartment. It was actually his idea that we stay in one here in Japan instead of going with him to work, so he said he would pay for us. However, it's not enough for groceries, school, and a variety of other things that we need (and sometimes don't really need). So Venii-sama and I came to a compromise last year: I would take up a job to help us pay and he would go to school for us. High school students aren't allowed to take up jobs. Then again, I'm not a student, so the rule doesn't apply to me. Every so often we switch places to give the other a break, but to keep people from suspecting anything we have to pretend to be each other. Sometimes I wonder how well Venii-san does at being "me".

"Besides, didn't you have all day today to figure out that English assignment?" I ask, placing all of the newly rinsed dishes into the dishwasher under the counter. He freezes. Did he honestly forget all about it? "...I'll get to work..." he sighs, and stumbles over to our room. Venii-san may not be the brightest bulb in the box, but he's not a slacker, either. I have faith in his honest ability to get it done. He normally falls asleep because by the time he finishes it's really late. That's a good thing for me, especially tonight. There's a show that premieres tonight at midnight, and I don't want to keep him up. If anyone is looking for anything similar between us besides our looks, it's the fact that we both love anime.

But that's all.

Despite his tough and rowdy personality, Venii-san is a total sucker for a good shoujo manga. It's the romance, and often times tragedy, that gets him right in the heart. Sometimes I walk into our room and he's reading a shoujo manga from the local library and tears are in his eyes; sometimes he's laughing if it's a romantic comedy; sometimes his eyes are wide and every so often he has a nosebleed. I personally prefer shonen. Too much romance makes me sick. I'm really praying that he falls asleep while doing his homework tonight. Knowing him, he would want to stay up with me and watch whatever it is I'm watching. It's not that he wouldn't _like_ tonight's show. Actually, he would _hate_ it.

It would scare him so much that it would keep him up all night.

* * *

11:56. Almost midnight. Venii-san hasn't come out of our room since after dinner, and I haven't heard any noise coming from there either. He's probably sleeping. Good. I make some popcorn in our counter-top microwave and get a big bowl out. My shift at work tomorrow isn't until 11:30 in the morning. I can sleep in a little. The microwaves countdown is nearing 0:00.

**0:05.**

**0:04.**

**0:03.**

**0:02.**

**0:01.**

***DIN - ***

I open the microwave door before it can finish the *ding*. I don't want to make too much noise, even if Venii-san is a heavy sleeper. I pour the popcorn into the bowl and throw the paper bag away into a trashcan by the end of the counter. Alright. It's show-time. I hurry over to the couch after turning off the lights and grab the newly-energized remote. My thumb presses the "on" button and suddenly the once-dark apartment is filled with light illuminating from our t.v. Damn it. It hasn't started yet. There's a commercial.

"Hey, Roku-chan~" I jolt, startled by the voice that comes out of silence and by the pair of arms that suddenly grabs me from behind. "VEN!" I shout. I never refer to him with respect when I'm startled or angry.

"What are you doing up? Don't you have classes in the morning?" I take the bowl of popcorn away from him when he reaches for it. "Awwh, but I wanted to watch this with you! After all, weren't you waiting for months to see this?" he asks, climbing over the back of the couch to make himself comfortable beside me. I grumble something even I don't understand under my breath, not caring when he goes to grab some popcorn this time.

"I'm really not sure you should be watching this. It'll scare you," I warn him, looking at him seriously. "I'll be fine! Besides," he wraps his arms around my neck from the side, a big goofy grin on his face, "my little Roku-chan is here to protect me!" He's laughing, forcing me back onto the couch. He probably does not know what this show is about. But, he will in due time. The commercial finally ends and my attention, as well as his, return to the t.v. A picture of an animated moon in an animated night sky appears on the screen, animated cherry blossom petals flying in the wind. Soft music is playing creepily in the background.

_"The night before everything ended...I stayed up late."_

Venii-san is paying extremely close attention, as am I. When an anime starts out this alluring, it _has_ to be good. The image fades to a street in the middle of the night, the streetlight flickering. Out of nowhere, an image of something gruesome flashes onto the screen. Both Venii-san and I jump a little. But he's the only one who squeaks. Back to the street. Another image of multiple gruesome things flash. Back to the street. A final image of something similar and gruesome is back on the screen, before it switches to what appears to be a person bending their head backwards, a corpse's arm in its hand. Venii-san is clinging onto my shirt. Someone runs past the screen.

"...Ro...Roxas...?" his voice is meek and soft. "Y-Yeah, Venii-san?" "...what is this show about?" he asks in a demanding but frightened voice. There's a brief moment of silence on my part, being so involved with what's going on. There are three students running across a school rooftop through a sea of monsters, bashing their heads in on the way to a safe spot. Venii-san should have figured it out by now, so I didn't feel the need to explain to him. Wait, was that just a panty shot?

_"Hisashi! Are you okay?"_

_"Yeah, I'm fine!"_

The girl turns around and stabs one of the monsters in the chest with a long pole that has something sharp on the end. One of the boys on the screen and I both think the same thing: "Idiot." The monster swings the pole against her while she's distracted and pins her to the wall. Her boobs bounce more than any pair of breasts _I've_ seen. Oh joy. Another panty shot. Not all Japanese men are horny, y'know.

_"N-Nooo, stop it!"_

My God, is it going to eat her? My muscles get stiff from all of this tension going on in just the first 30 seconds or so. Venii-san is now holding onto my arm, his grip tightening with his fear.

_"R-Rei!"_

The other boy grabs the baseball bat from the first and rushes to the girl's side. A quick swing and the monster's head is bashed in. Did they just block it out? Damn censorship. It was plenty violent for Venii-san, though. He jumped a little in his seat just now. Poor thing.

_"H-Hisashi!"_

_"Did you see what I did? You have to go for the head to kill Them."_

My hand reaches for the bowl of popcorn and I scoop up a handfull. My attention is so focused on what's on the screen that I can't even properly direct the snack into my mouth. Holy great damn, this is good. The main character watches as the girl and other boy make it onto the roof safely, before turning around to look at the Hell they just barely managed to survive in.

_"Jesus...What's going on?"_

There are monsters everywhere. They look like humans, but they clearly are not. Last time I checked, humans don't eat other humans. But that is exactly what these monsters are doing, when they're not limping around and groaning. The guy looks confused and scared. I glance over at Venii-san and see that his expression is very similar.

_"WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON?"_

The camera zooms out from his face, flying past the horde of those monsters that look like humans. Just seeing how many there are surrounding the three makes me whisper, "Holy shiz..." I look over to scold Venii-san about why I told him not to watch, but decide that now isn't the best time. His face looks green and his hands are covering his eyes. His entire body is shaking. I move to place an arm around him, but the second my skin makes contact with his body he leaps about three feet into the air and screams. The look in his eyes when he stares at me drives something painful through my heart.

I really don't think I've seen him this scared even once before in my entire life.

* * *

"S-Sorry I made you miss your show..." Venii-san apologizes in a soft voice. "It's alright. I'm recording it, so I'll just watch it when you're not around," I reply. I lean against our doorway with my arms folded across his chest, watching him as he dresses for bed. His drawers are open and random pieces of clothing are sticking over the edge of each one. Does he not know where his pajamas are? Oh, good. He's found them.

"Still. I should have listened to you. You _told_ me not to watch and I was being a little bastard and didn't listen," he speaks with his back turned towards me. His arms pull his shirt over his head and drop it unceremoneously onto our wooden floor. I freeze my gaze on his bare back. The muscles he's gained from all of his training and working out ripple under his skin with every movement that he makes. I feel some heat coming onto my cheeks and I find that it's hard to stop staring.

"...-ed now, right?"

Was he just talking? I shake my head, snapping out of it and forcing the blush away from my face. "I'm sorry, kinda just spaced out there for a second. What did you say?" I ask. He turns around while pulling his beige-colored pajama top over his head. "I said, I should probably get going to bed now, right?" I glance over at the alarm clock on his desk. It's after midnight, way past his bedtime.

"Yes, you should. I think I'll be going to bed now, too. I haven't been doing so well with my sleep lately and I need to catch up," my arms unfold and reach for the ceiling, stretching a little. I don't even bother changing into my pajamas, instead just removing my shirt and socks. My tan-colored camo shorts are comfortable enough, so why bother? My body collapses onto my bed's comforter, my face digging into my pillow. I smell my coconut-scented shampoo, listening to the rustling of sheets as Venii-san crawls into his own bed. I turn my face to the side, facing in the direction of the desks. The blue orb-shaped lamp with fish swimming around it is still on. My arm extends toward it and my fingers finger down on a string hanging from the orb to turn out the light. Our bedroom is suddenly submersed in darkness.

"Goodnight," I yawn, turning over onto my side and facing away from my brother's bed. I close my eyes and try to relax, just waiting to fall asleep. Starting to fade in and out of consiousness now...Almost there...

"...Roxas?" a whisper breaks through the silence of our room. My eyes open and I look over my shoulder at the direction of the voice. "Hmm?" I respond, tired. I hear him through the darkness that he's sitting up from his under his covers. "...I can't sleep. I'm afraid that if I close my eyes...I'm afraid of what will happen." His voice is timid, almost childlike. I roll over to my other side, my eyes getting adjusted to the darkness. I can see shapes by now.

"Is...it alright if...if I sleep with you?"

"...yeah, it's fine."

There's more rustling, followed by rapid and light footsteps across the wood floor heading in my direction. Without warning, a warm body tackles me into my bed and holds me close. I can feel his body shaking and his grip around my torso tightening. My arms snake their way around his own body, my right hand running my fingers through his soft and golden hair that looks just like mine.

"It's okay, Venii-san...It's okay..." I whisper in the hopes that he'll calm down. Damn it, Venii-san, why don't you listen to me? Wait- this is no time for scolding. Right now, he needs me. He needs me to protect him.

I pull him closer, his face burying into my neck and upper chest. It feels like he's crying in fear, because my neck and chest suddenly have a few drops of water on them. His body curls into mine as I continue to whisper reassurances that everything will be alright. It does not help him stop shaking, though. His grip only tightens more. My fingers play with his hair a little, and I bury my own face into it. It smells like strawberry-scented shampoo. I love that smell, because it's his.

"I'm here, Venii-san. I'm here. Nothing's going to get you," my voice is soft and low, and my fingers continue to play with random locks of his hair. Gradually, his body stops shaking in my arms, and he feels relaxed, slumping into the mattress. I raise my face out of his hair to look at him in the darkness. He's calm now, and his breathing is slow. He's finally been able to go to sleep.

I contemplate letting him go, when I remember something very familiar about this scene. When we were children, and I always went to his bed because of how cold our room was. I couldn't stop shaking, either. But Venii-san held me, even after he and I had both fallen asleep...I could at least do the same for him. My arms hold him against my body, close and tight and keeping him safe. My fingers resume running through his silky locks and I listen to his peaceful breathing. With our bodies pressed against each other this closely, I can feel his heart beating at the same time as mine. The rhythm of our heart beats, the sounds of his breathing, the aura of tranquility around us, all of them make my eyes heavy. I begin to fade in and out of consiousness once more. I see darkness. Then I see Venii-san. Darkness. Venii-san. Darkness...Ven...Dark...

I sleep peacefully, knowing exactly who would be the first thing I would see the following morning.

* * *

**Author's Note:**

So, I basically crapped out most of this in a hurry to get it up before I went to bed. But I did put a lot of thought into it, I tells ya!

In case you couldn't tell, Roxas and Ven were watching Highschool of the Dead. Zombies freak Ven out. Zombies freak me out, too. Yay for character-creator relations!

Is it just me, or are these two blondes so adorable together? :D


	3. Strength

**Strength**

* * *

"Yo, Roxas~!"

I turn my head to look at the older man who had called my name, before staring back at the alley I stand in. His body crashes beside mine on the brick wall outside of our store that I'm leaning on, his arms folding across his chest much in the same manner that I have mine. As mentioned earlier, I work in an ice cream shop. It's about a ten-minute walk away from mine and Venii-san's apartment complex and while small, it makes good money. It happens to be located right next to the area's elementary school. Every day, there are young customers waiting in line to purchase some cold and sweet deliciousness. Kids really love ice cream, don't they? Not that I can really blame them, since I've grown addicted to the stuff as well. I guess I'm a pretty lucky little bastard for being able to take home whatever is left over.

"Hey, Axel."

I'm afraid my response isn't too casual. The only person I have ever needed to confide in or cling to or even socialize with was always Venii-san. Getting this job has forced me to talk to other people, I'll admit. It's not like I've ever once considered them my "friends", anyway. Not the way Venii-san considers Sora, Riku, and Kairi (as much as I hate to admit it), "friends". Needless to say, my social skills are pretty lacking.

"You look stressed." Out of the corner of my eye, Axel stares at me, his eyebrows furrowing. He seems to be in deep thought, which is really strange since the guy is a certifiable moron. ...well, it's not like he's book-stupid. He just does stupid things. Really stupid things. Really, _**really**_ stupid things.

"Want a smoke?"

And _this_ was one of them.

My attention is turned to what's in his hand: a box of cigarettes and a lighter with his name engraved on it in some fancy lettering. He holds out his hand, offering me the things he's carrying. After staring for several minutes - or seconds, I'm not paying attention - I snatch the things from his hand. One thumb pops a cigarette out of the box by the butt, sticking it up from the rest. I take it with my teeth and shove the box back into Axel's hand, all in one fluid movement. With one hand covering the end, the lighter is brought up, lit. The smell of nicotine and about forty-nine of the toxic chemicals in these things began to waft through the air surrounding us as the paper surrounding all that crap begins to burn. The cigarette is wedged between my index and middle fingers that I bring up, and I inhale deeply as my eyes close. A few seconds pass by before it's brought away from my lips. I sigh, releasing the smoke from my mouth and nose.

"A simple 'yes' would've been fine," he retorts jokingly, lighting one of his own with the lighter he takes from my hand. "Shut up."

See, Axel is different from most of the people I've met...not that I've met that many. But he's definitely different from everyone else, I can tell at least that much. The first thing that stands out is his hair. I mean, neon red, spiked up hair? Seriously? He looks like a freaking porcupine. It certainly compliments his bright, emerald eyes, though. I still don't know whether his hair is naturally that color or if he dyes it. The second thing most people take note of are the interesting tear-drop tattoos beneath his eyes. I would be too scared to get permanently inked in general, let alone get it on my _face_. He's got balls, I'll give him that.

His attitude is not what I am used to, to put it simply. On my first day working in this shop, he was the first to offer teaching me how to run things. It might not sound too unusual, until you realize that Axel never feels like being the first to volunteer for anything. He follows through with the orders that he's given like a good employee, but that's when he doesn't have a choice. Axel and I, we're kind of similar, I guess. He's not one to befriend everyone he meets (actually, he ignores them), same as me. He does as he is told without question so long as it gets the job done and they can stop riding his ass, same as me. He's a smart guy, except he does really stupid things. Same as me.

This isn't the first time I've taken a cigarette from this guy.

"I'm surprised you took that one so easily. I thought you were trying to quit," he begins the conversation, looking in my direction and blowing out smoke as if he were a bad-ass. I sigh in aggravation, the tip of my index finger lightly tapping the end of the cigarette to shake off any ash onto the pavement. "Why do you even care? We're not exactly what you could call 'close', and aren't you the one who offered it?" A glare is sent to my side at him.

"Maybe so," he looks away, "but I thought the reason why you quit the first...how many times was it?"

"...three."

"Right. I thought you wanted to stop because of your brother?"

I can't think of anything to say to respond to that.

* * *

The first time I started up this nasty habit was about a month after being hired at this place. Kairi was taking up Venii-san's attention, as usual, and since I couldn't see him all of the time like I used to, I was a little depressed and extremely pissed. I stepped outside to mope and try to get my mind off of things when I saw Axel standing there, smoking a cigarette. He looked so chill, so calm, so god-damn relaxed. I was desperate to be like that, and I was willing to do anything to get that way. The instant I saw the box of cigs in his hand, I snatched it up and took my first puff. I wanted to throw up. It tasted horrible. Axel stared at me before laughing, apparently amused by my attempts to relieve some stress.

The first time I quit was the same day I started. I came home from work and Venii-san came right up to me, looked me in the eye, and started sniffing my clothes. He asked if I had been smoking. The first response I could think of was "No, the guy I work with does though." He bought it. He totally bought it. I couldn't believe that I had lied to Venii-san - my Venii-san, my own brother. I didn't want to have to do that again.

It didn't last for very long.

I didn't want to come home smelling like an ashtray and having Venii-san investigate everything I did when I wasn't with him. While it was easier to get back into it the second and third time, I soon found that quitting the second and third time was another story. The second time I quit, I felt uncomfortable whenever I was stressed and as I didn't buy my own cigarettes, I sometimes had to pretend that my brother's pocky sticks were what I needed. It never really worked, which brought up start up the third. That went on for a few months, all the while I had managed to hide my dirty little secret from my brother. But then, something happened. This time, it was because _I_, not my twin, noticed something off about me. One morning after waking up and going into the bathroom, I happened to glance at the mirror and I saw just what this nasty habit was doing to me.

My skin was pale. My eyes were heavy and there were dark circles underneath them. I was starting to get wrinkles and I noticed my teeth were becoming stained. I was beginning to look absolutely repulsive. It's a good thing I was able to notice these effects early on, because one inspection led to noticing another change on my body, and another, and another. I had seen what some people looked like when they were heavy smokers. Not a single one of them was attractive. I decided that morning to stop, once and for all.

Yeah. Like _that_ worked.

I was getting twitchy, always a total nervous wreck. I was never able to relax. My body was always shaking and I noticed how jittery I was. My fingers were constantly twiddling around, looking for something small to play with, to light on fire, to bring up to my lips while I inhaled death. …oh my God. I wasn't just sucked into a habit.

I was _addicted_.

I was totally addicted to the stuff, and I knew it. Damn nicotine. The instant I saw Axel at work, I snatched up his pack and lit one as though my very life depended on it. I tried to bring it up to my lips, but Axel grabbed my wrist and stopped me before I could. The look he had on his face told me that he knew I was suffering from this. I kept trying to get the cigarette up to my mouth, so I could take just one, deep breath and get myself to calm down, even if only for a little bit. At that point, I felt a sharp pain sting my cheek seconds after the man's hand swept across my face. My blue eyes met his green. The expression he bore was so serious, so cold, I froze. His gaze softened, and I knew: I was becoming this thing's slave, and the man that stood in front of me was trying to save me. I remember that I broke down into a fit of sobs and coughs. My eyes hurt. My throat hurt. My chest hurt. All of this pain and suffering, it began when I realized that I was losing Venii-san's attention, and I was losing it to Kairi. That bitch. She did this to me. _She_ did this to me…that's what I wanted to believe. That's what I forced myself to believe, but I knew. Kairi didn't do anything, not with this. The only one I could really blame was myself.

I cried harder, and my coughs brought up blood from my raw throat.

* * *

"You know, you shouldn't be throwing your life away with this stuff."

His voice takes me out of my thoughts. I look over at him while taking my half-burned cig out of my mouth.

"And what about you? Aren't you doing the same?" He laughed. "Me? Nah. I'm just a stupid adult. I've already effed up my life as it is. A little of this won't do anything. But you?" his laughter calmed, and he grinned at me. "You're a kid. You still have a long life ahead of you. So don't make the same mistakes I've made," he pauses to place a hand on my shoulder, "okay?"

I stare at him, baffled. This bumbling idiot was giving me advice that I could actually use? After a couple of blinks, I look down at the dying cigarette in my hand. For once, Axel was right. I really am throwing my life away with this thing. I became addicted to the way I could depend on it to relieve my stress, just like how I became addicted to the way I could depend on Venii-san. They were both tearing me apart inside, the way they ran my life and the way I let them run my life.

But what am I doing, comparing my own brother to a freaking stick of death? I throw the thing down onto the ground and put it out with my shoe. If I was going to be free of either of them, I had to start now, one step at a time. Venii-san has already started by distancing himself away from me. The least I could do is follow suit. I shouldn't be the only one trying to change the way they live, though.

"Alright. I'll quit, for good this time. But," I look to the man standing at my side. "Axel, you have to quit, too." He chuckled, and I glared. "Come on. It'll be easier if you have company that's trying to quit with you. You're still pretty young, so you can still make a difference." My hand goes to his to take the cigarette from his hand. "You helped me, remember? I need to help you now."

He stares off into space, deep in thought. A smile creeps onto his face, and his fingers let go. It falls to the ground, and he stomps it out.

"Okay, you win. I'll quit," his attention returns to me, "but only because you're going to need a crutch to get through this."

"If you thought I needed a crutch, then why didn't you quit first?" I frown. "Because I'm stupid, Rox. Remember? I'm an adult."

"Hey! You two done out here? Get back to your shifts!"

A voice screeches at us from the doorway that leads back inside. Axel turns back to the person. "Alright, alright Vexen! We're coming, just calm the hell down." He turns to walk inside of the story, mumbling some sort of profanity that I can't quite catch. I move to follow him when I notice that there's an all too familiar box lying on the ground. Axel must've dropped it while putting it back into his pocket earlier. Oblivious bastard.

I stare at it. Time seems to freeze. My heart is pounding against my chest, and the urge to inhale the sweet and toxic aroma of death rises. My feet move and I walk over to the box, bending down to pick it up. A quick look inside shows me that it's pretty full. It must've been a new pack, since only two sticks are missing. My thumb rubs against it briefly, my gaze not breaking from it. Temptation is taunting me, trying to get me to give in. My arms begin to shake and my hand moves against its will to draw out one of the cigarettes. A memory of the last time this happened flashes through my mind, and I make my decision. I glance down the alley way, then back at the box. A smirk comes to my face, and I chuck that sucker down the alley. It crashes into a garbage can, rattling the metal and startling a stray cat. I enter the shop, plopping a piece of mint gum into my mouth with one hand and keeping the other in my pocket. I am going to live my life. And I'm not going to let some damn addiction ruin it, be it cigarettes or my own brother. I am not going to be a slave for his affection any more. Sorry, Venii-san. But you let go a long time ago and got lost in this world outside our own.

Now, it's my turn.

* * *

**Author's Note:**

Phew! Sorry this took forever to get, guys. School has started and marching band is taking up a lot of my time. But hey! Axel's here! Hurrah! But, oh no! Roxy smoking? I rather detest smoking myself, but when I thought about how Ven is like his drug, I decided to make him addicted to it. There are a lot of fanfictions on here where Roxas is addicted to drugs, so I felt it was a bit overplayed. Oh well.

Because I feel bad for making all of you guys wait, I have a little surprise for you: a preview of what happens in chapter 4. I hope you enjoy it! Guess the song playing in the background and you get a free digital cookie! C:

* * *

**God Knows**

(Preview)

_Is it still me that makes you sweat?_

_Am I who you think about in bed?_

_When the lights are dim and your hands are shaking as you're sliding off your dress?_

"V-Ven!" I stammer, my back being forced against the wall and my wrists pinned above my head. My mouth is engulfed by his, and I can taste the sea-salt that remains on his lips. The muscles in my shoulders tense up, my hands clenching into fists. I tightly shut my eyes and arch my back, trying so hard to resist giving in. But, he's fighting just as much to keep me where I am. And with him being the more athletic one of us, he wins. I manage to shake my face away, sucking in as big a breath as I could because he suddenly took mine away.

_Then think of what you did_

_And how I hope to God he was worth it._

_When the lights are dim and your heart is racing as your fingers touch his skin._

"S...St-" My breath is labored, and I feel my cheeks become heated. The grip my brother has on my wrists tightens as his lips crash again mine, forcing some sort of groan to emerge from deep in my throat. His weight shifts onto the bed as he, I'm assuming, gets on his knees and leans closer. His chest presses to mine, and I can feel his heart beat through our shirts, just as I'm sure he can feel my own. His heart is calm, maintaining his composure, while mine is racing because inside, I'm panicking. He has to feel the heat radiating off of my face since I'm sure that it's beet red by now.

...It's no use.

_I've got more wit, a better kiss, a hotter touch, a better fuck_

_Than any boy you'll ever meet, sweetie you had me_

_Girl I was it, look past the sweat, a better love deserving of_

_Exchanging body heat in the passenger seat?_

The tension in my body gradually leaves, and I relax a little. I have given in. His lips caress mine once or twice, losing the force he was applying just seconds ago. Eventually, his fingers unwrap from around my wrists. They glide down my arms, fingertips lightly brushing against my skin, before making their way to my shoulders. My arms drop like weights and my hands clench onto the bed sheets below me. A tingle creeps through my skin as his hands move to my neck and jaw line, sending the muscles in my back into a spasm. I break away from him and inhale shakily as the sliver continues to crawl through my being. The next thing I know, my mouth is filled with the taste of sea-salt. ...No. It's something even sweeter than the ice cream. It tastes so sweet, but at the same time so disgusting.

He tastes like me.

This is wrong. This is so wrong, I know. ...but I don't want to stop. I firmly believe that I must be the only person he knows- no, in the world, that can satisfy whatever it is he needs. He wouldn't be doing this to me otherwise, right? He draws out and starts to pull away. I can't let him, not when he needs me this badly. I lean forward and force our lips together, just as they were before. He lets out a soft groan that vibrates throughout his throat. I listen to him intently, the music playing in our room fading out of my mind as I start losing myself in this twisted kind of bliss.

_No, no, no, you know it will always just be me..._


	4. God Knows

**Author's Note – **I can see that some of you liked that preview for this chapter. Would you believe me if I told you that it just gets better from there? No? Then see for yourself. This entire chapter doesn't exactly have relevance to the plot itself, but it does open some doors for character development, which will come into play later on down the road. Hope you all enjoy "THE (not really) MAKE-OUT CHAPTER".

Cue dramatic gopher.

* * *

**God Knows**

**

* * *

**

_In case you're not off work yet, I'm at the park practicing my 'secret technique'. I'll be home in an hour, so I won't be there to pick you up. Try not to get lost on the way home! :)_

"Pfft. As if I'm the one that would get lost on the way home," I murmur under my breath, smirking sourly at the text message I just received from Venii-san. I am not amused. I hit the "Reply" button on my cell phone and let my thumbs do their thing, tapping the keys on the keyboard rapidly.

_You should hope I don't get lost, or else no dinner tonight. When I get mugged and you die of starvation, you'll have nobody to blame but yourself. :)_

I hit the "Send" key and put my phone into my pocket the instant my employer bursts into the serving area, screaming orders here and there to clean this and put that away. Talk about being a freakin' _ninja_. If that wasn't awesome timing, I don't know what is.

"Oi, chill the hell out, Vexen," I hear Axel sigh as I begin to search for any leftovers in our inventory. Vexen's response is kinda muted from my hearing; I'm not really paying any attention. Ahh, here we go: sea-salt ice cream. This, my friends, is the _Jesus_ of the ice cream world. It's like an orgasm in your mouth – that is, if ice creams could cause orgasms in mouths – except better…not that I would know. Axel and Vexen are still bickering? Well, I think they've always been arguing like this (moreso on Vexen's part, yeesh), but I was just so wrapped up in my own little world that I never really paid much attention. That needs to change. Today is the day that I am a new "me".

"Hey, Vexen," I speak, looking over at the two older men. They freeze, blinking with surprise that I would actually speak to them outside of answering questions. "Mind if I take any of this home? It'll just be a waste otherwise." I hold up a bag of ice cream pops, enough for Venii-san and myself to have one a day for about five days. "Uhh...y-yes, you may..." he responds.

"Thanks," I grin brightly, thankfully. Oh, sweet deliciousness. You will not survive the week. I pity you and your inevitable fate. You must be shaking in there, sweet, innocent ice cream, because I just felt you shiver against my leg. Vexen then resumes his orders to Axel closing down the shop, Axel grumbles under his breath, and I manage to sneak another two or three wrapped goodness into this plastic bag while they go on acting like an old married couple.

...oh God, the mental images.

"Anyway, I'm leaving now," I announce with my hand opening the door and one foot outside. "Waah? You're leaving now?" Axel asks in disappointment. "Yeah. My brother should be coming home soon and he's pretty helpless as it is. I have to get dinner started," I reply with a straight face. "Heh. Guess it can't be helped then," he sighs, a weak smile on his face. "Oh, but before you go," he stops me just as I begin to move again. I look over my shoulder at him. "You seem like a pretty cool kid. You've been so quiet and kinda not-there since you first started working here last year, I don't really know you. Feels like we're total strangers," Axel glances to the side, rubbing the back of his neck. "Come on, Axel! You need to clean up back here!" Vexen's voice screeched.

"Gimme a sec!" Axel shouts back before sighing. "Aaaanyway, I was just wondering if you would like to hang out sometime. Y'know, like a 'get to know you' sorta thing."

"I would like that, actually," I respond after a moment of thinking. "Axel!"

"Alright, alright! I'm coming! So, it's a date?" he asks with a grin as he turns to walk to the back of the shop. "Ehh, we'll see what our schedules will let us do about that 'date'," I chuckle nervously, heading out the door. That building doesn't seem so suffocating anymore, not like it was when I first started work there. The faded yet warm colors of yellow, green, red, and blue of the walls and counters, the array of ice cream flavors that were aligned in columns and rows in the glass container, the little stools for the children to sit in, they were all too much for my monochromatic preference to handle. I had to suck it up, though. If I wasn't able to keep this job, what would've happened to Venii-san and me? My mind wanders to the possibilities of where we would be right now if I didn't have a way to make extra money for us to eat. Eat...food...ice cream...Oh yeah! My hand shoves into my pocket to retrieve my phone. I thought I felt it vibrate earlier... I flip it open and see that I have one new message:

_Ven_

Before I get a chance to read it, I notice two small children - a little boy and a little girl - huddling in the shadows of the space between the buildings I'm about to pass by. I stop walking and take a good look at them. Their hair is messy. Their clothes are torn. Their skin is dirty. It looks like the boy has a bruise on his cheek. Their faces are thin. Are these kids homeless? I take a step toward him and they take a step back, the boy holding his arms in front of the girl to protect her. They look alike - are they siblings? Pity seeps into my heart. I put my phone away, take my bag and pull out two ice creams.

"Here," I hold the treats out to the kids. They're reluctant at first. I mean, who wouldn't? Homeless, probably starving judging by the way their faces are just skin and bones, and along comes a stranger who just up and gives you ice cream? Who wouldn't be suspicious of that? Nonetheless, the girl eventually makes her way over to me, maneuvering around her probably-brother's arms. She takes the ice creams from me and runs back to the boy. I watch as she gives him one of the ice creams and our eyes meet for a brief moment. Their eyes are wide, confused, but I can see a hint of gratefulness in them. The boy takes a bite of his treat, before grinning in delight. The girl does the same. I smile a little. I had to sacrifice two of mine and Venii-san's ice creams, but if doing so can bring just a little bit of joy to two children's lives, even if they are strangers, then it's more than worth it. I may be apathetic and cold, but I'm not heartless enough to just ignore two kids.

They leave down the alley, and I keep my eye on them until they're gone from my sight. That smile I'm holding on my face begins to fade as realization begins to hit me: Venii-san and I are lucky. These two, not so much. I continue to walk down the sidewalk toward the apartment complex we live in, thinking about the kids and about my brother and myself. I try to imagine what it must be like, to have nobody else in the world but your probably-sibling to protect you. Nobody...We had our parents to raise us. Where are theirs? Are they even alive? On the way home, I begin to take notice, after going in the same direction for so long, what exactly my surroundings look like. A few houses are boarded up, the families long gone and unable to keep paying bills for them. A few scruffy looking and dirty men are asleep in the shade between buildings. There's a dead cat lying on the side of the road.

This is so not what this neighborhood used to look like, even I remember that. When I first walked down this way, holding Venii-san's hand to take him to his first day of school, everything was so different. There were families that greeted us and smiled at us as we walked by, thinking of how cute we looked to be so close. There was a little park that I would often see children playing on by being watched over by their parents. The air didn't smell that bad. But now, it's gone. Those families are nowhere to be seen. That park is dubbed "home" by some hobos, and the air reeks. As I continue walking, I begin taking in more and more of what I've failed to notice for so long. I can't believe that I have never see this before! I took this same route almost every day, not once bothering to take the time to notice the little things that were happening around me. Was I really that wrapped up in that dying world my brother and I built? I finally make it to the steps of our apartment complex, relieved to see that our part of the neighborhood is normal. My thoughts calm down a little.

This world that I've opened myself up to is beginning to scare me.

**

* * *

**

**Two. Days. Later.**

**

* * *

**

I'm sitting on my bed reading a light novel I checked out of the local library, my fingertips gently tapping the pages to the beat of music playing, when I hear footsteps shuffling into our bedroom. Our little plug-in stereo is playing one of my favorite bands, some American band about panicking at a disco? I know, I know. A band I love, and I don't even know the name. No matter. Their music is really catchy and I can understand the lyrics. Hurray for paying attention to the homework Venii-san had for English.

"Hey, Roku-chan," Venii-san greets me as he solemnly approaches my bed. "Hey."

_Strike up the band!  
Whoa-oh, the conductor is beckoning  
Come congregation, let's sing it like you mean it  
No. Don't you get it, don't you get it? Now don't you move._

_Just stay where I can see you._

"What is this you're listening to? Do you even know what they're saying?" he blinks, sitting beside me on the bed. I can see out of the corner of my eye that he's eating some of the sea-salt ice cream bars I brought home a couple days ago. "Most of the time. Why?" I respond, getting back to my book. "Just curious."

I can feel the mattress move as he shifts his body closer to mine. There are licking noises from eating his ice cream and I can tell he's looking over my shoulder. He's never been this close to being interested in a book…what's he up to?

"_Ah-! Jyuu-kun, not another guy bento again!" _

_Jyuu turned to look where the high-pitched voice was calling from with a reluctant expression. _

"_Shuddap. Don't just go around calling other people's food measly." _

Lick.

"_Then let's do this. I present you with one of my mini-hamburgers." _

"_I don't want it. Or rather, watcha trying to say?" _

"_In exchange, I shall take this pickled radish." _

Slurp.

"_Like I said, watcha trying to say?" _

"_I love pickled stuff, that's what I'm saying." _

_This girl skillfully evading the bluntness of Jyuu's speech was his classmate, Satsuki Mi-_

Munch.

"Ven," I frown, furrowing my eyebrows and staring at whatever's in front of me. "I am _trying_ to _read_." "I didn't know you were into this stuff, Roku-chan." I sigh. He's completely ignoring me. "I mean, 'Denpa Teki na Kanojo'? You're reading a chick novel?"

"Shuddup. It's supposed to be a suspense," I shut the book loudly before carefully tossing it onto my desk. No use in reading it _now_, since Sir Eats-a-Lot won't devour in silence. I lean back onto the wall beside my bed and look over unamused at Venii-san, sitting not a foot away from me. He's finally done with his ice cre- oh wait. He has some dripping down his chin. You really are a messy eater, aren't you? Time to take care of that...but I'm too lazy to move that much, so I just lean over and lick it up in a split second.

"R-Roxas!" My brother leaps up from my bed, his face turning a deep red and his body shaking. He has a sort of horrified look on his face. "What?"

"What was that for?"

"You had ice cream on your face. I just cleaned it up," I bluntly state. Seriously, it's not that big of a deal.

"But did you have to do it like that?"

"I was too lazy and it's not like I kissed you or anything."

"You might as well have!"

"Alright."

I crawl off of the bed and quickly approach him. He takes a step back but is too slow to escape from the grasp my hands hold on his shoulders. The expression he has on his face right before I pull him towards me is priceless, or at least of what I can see before my lips press against his in a chaste kiss. I pull away immediately and sit back onto the edge of the bed, watching his reaction. He looks at me with wide eyes, totally confused and shocked.

"You asked for it," is all I can really say at this point.

_Whoa-oh, the conductor is beckoning  
Come congregation, let's sing it like you mean it  
No. Don't you get it, don't you get it? Now don't you move.  
_

"...Venii-san?" I blink. An entire chorus just played with us staring at each other in silence. I watch as the red leaves his face. A couple of blinks later, he begins to move toward me without saying a word.

"Venii-san...?" He grabs my shoulders once I'm within arm's reach.

_Don't you move._

"Ven?" He doesn't answer. My eyes widen as I see him lean in. He manages to peck my lips with his before I pull away. "H-Hey, what are you-" I'm cut off as his lips meet mine once more. Oh God. Is he seriously doing this! Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh. My. God.

_Don't you move._

"Ven!" He attempts to kiss me again, and again I turn away. His grip on me loosens, and at first I think he's come to his senses. But his hands only move to my wrists, where they have a firm hold, and his lips take mine.

_Strike up the band!_

The stereo pauses, which it does before it changes to the next song, but that isn't important right now. What in the hell is he thinking! I can feel him leaning into it a bit, and I try to push him away. Of course, can I really even do that with my wrists bound? Geez, Venii-san has been working out. I don't ever remember him being this strong. No time to think about that! I need to figure out a way to get him off of me. My legs start thrashing about and I squeak into the kiss, trying desperately to give him the message that I want him to stop. _**Now.**_

He finally pulls away, breathing heavily. Does he get it? Is he going to back off? My hope gets struck down with one simple movement. He forces my hands up into the air and practically lifts me up to move me back and make room for him. I gasp sharply as I'm brought back down onto my mattress, completely trapped.

_Is it still me that makes you sweat?_

_Am I who you think about in bed?_

_When the lights are dim and your hands are shaking as you're sliding off your dress?_

"V-Ven!" I stammer, my back being forced against the wall and my wrists pinned above my head. My mouth is engulfed by his, and I can taste the sea-salt that remains on his lips. The muscles in my shoulders tense up, my hands clenching into fists. I tightly shut my eyes and arch my back, trying so hard to resist giving in. But, he's fighting just as much to keep me where I am. And with him being the more athletic one of us, he wins. I manage to shake my face away, sucking in as big a breath as I could because he suddenly took mine away.

_Then think of what you did_

_And how I hope to God he was worth it._

_When the lights are dim and your heart is racing as your fingers touch his skin._

"S...St-" My breath is labored, and I feel my cheeks become heated. The grip my brother has on my wrists tightens as his lips crash again mine, forcing some sort of groan to emerge from deep in my throat. His weight shifts onto the bed as he, I'm assuming, gets on his knees and leans closer. His chest presses to mine, and I can feel his heart beat through our shirts, just as I'm sure he can feel my own. His heart is calm, maintaining his composure, while mine is racing because inside, I'm panicking. He has to feel the heat radiating off of my face since I'm sure that it's beet red by now.

_I've got more wit, a better kiss, a hotter touch, a better fuck_

_Than any boy you'll ever meet, sweetie you had me_

_Girl I was it, look past the sweat, a better love deserving of_

_Exchanging body heat in the passenger seat?_

...it's no use.

The tension in my body gradually leaves, and I relax a little. I have given in. His lips caress mine once or twice, losing the force he was applying just seconds ago. Eventually, his fingers unwrap from around my wrists. They glide down my arms, fingertips lightly brushing against my skin, before making their way to my shoulders. My arms drop like weights and my hands clench onto the bed sheets below me. A tingle creeps through my skin as his hands move to my neck and jaw line, sending the muscles in my back into a spasm. I break away from him and inhale shakily as the sliver continues to crawl through my being. The next thing I know, my mouth is filled with the taste of sea-salt. ...No. It's something even sweeter than the ice cream. It tastes so sweet, but at the same time so disgusting.

He tastes like me.

This is wrong. This is so wrong, I know. ...but I don't want to stop. I firmly believe that I must be the only person he knows- no, the only person in the world, that can satisfy whatever it is he needs. He wouldn't be doing this to me otherwise, right? He draws out and starts to pull away. I can't let him, not when he needs me this badly. I lean forward and force our lips together, just as they were before. He lets out a soft groan that vibrates throughout his throat. I listen to him intently, the music playing in our room fading out of my mind as I start losing myself in this twisted kind of bliss.

_No, no, no, you know it will always just be me..._

His hands leave my face and I know that he wants to stop this…but why would he want to stop when he so desperately needs me, when he needs this? He tries again to pull away, and again I refuse to grant him his wish. It's selfish to be forcing this upon him, but it would be even more selfish to turn him away when he comes to me for help, wouldn't it? I confirm my decision that this is okay, in its own twisted way, wrapping my arms around his neck to pull him closer. As his did to mine before, my lips gently caress his own a few times, trying to reassure him that it's okay. I can feel his body grow heavy as he relaxes on top of mine, and my hand moves up to run my fingers through his perfectly soft hair. Some of his aggressiveness returns, evident with his hands moving to the sides of my head and pressing against the wall, his legs on each side of my hips. Our clothed bodies press together with a bit of force and I break the kiss with lack of air. The instant our lips break apart, I can hear his breathing and feel it tickle my sore lips. I'm too out of breath and clouded by something I don't understand to open my eyes and stare into those eyes that look like mine. We definitely needed to talk about this.

"V-Ven….nii-sa—" I exhale heavily, cut off with a brief and kind kiss. "Don't call me that," he demands. W…what? My eyelids flutter open and I look at him in disbelief. The expression he holds on his face is deadly serious, his eyes of a different shade (at least, that's the way it seems) than normal – they were dull gray-blue, not that bright cerulean that you could easily get lost in.

"….Veni—" This kiss he interrupts me with catches me off-guard. It's rough and swift, surely only meant to shut me up. "I said don't call me that."

His lips begin to plant rough pecks upon my cheeks, travelling to my jaw line and making his way down my neck. With each kiss left, his aggression begins to die, little by little.

"Please…"

Peck.

"It'll…"

Peck.

"Make things easier."

His voice is breaking. He's so weak right now, but why? Is it because of whatever is bothering him? I may have given up on my disillusioned world, but I have not given up on my brother. I would never do such a thing. If it would make him feel better, he could do anything and everything to me. That's what brothers do, they're there to lift their sibling up when they're down.

Or is it because he's taking it out on me that's making him like this? Then, he shouldn't have to worry! I've already told him – err, at least tried to tell him – that it was okay. I would be here for him, no matter what. Is he afraid that I would hate him? Never! I could never hate him…no matter what. Even something as cruel and blasphemous as this…never. I'll never hate him.

He reaches the base of my neck, the drive gone from his actions. His lips press against my skin, but it's not a kiss. I can feel his face bury into my neck and shoulder and his arms wrap around me. His body shakes under my hold, and I hear him try to suppress the quiet sobs that eventually break his composure.

"It'll make things easier….if you just pretend that I'm not 'me'…." He whispers, his breath warm against my skin.

"….what?" I look at him in shock. Pretend that he's not 'him'? "No way….I wouldn't want you as anybody else…I love you for you, nii-san. Why do you want me to lie to myself about this? I accept you no matter what, and if lying to myself means denying you, I would rather take the ugly truth." My hand returns to his back from his hair and rubs it gently. His only response is a heavy sigh.

"What's wrong, Ven? I'm your brother…you can tell me anything. I'm here for you, you know."

"I know…and that's what's wrong…" I remain silent, waiting for him to go on. "…if you were anybody else…this would be alright, wouldn't it? But, it's because you're my little brother…this hurts."

"Please…tell me what's wrong."

Venii-san lifts his head and meets my gaze. My heart breaks at the sight of his face. Tears are still streaming down his flustered cheeks, and he looks just so damn pathetic. They say that eyes are the windows to the soul. I look into his eyes and I can see just how broken he is. Is it because of me? Did I do something wrong? Was it what just happened, this kind of physical touch between two brothers that's considered taboo? I just wish I knew what happened to make him act this way…

"…I was rejected," he finally speaks, in a tiny voice. "…it tore me up inside. My heart was so broken, and it hurt." Oh no. The tears are coming back. His voice is beginning to crack.

"I wanted to get my mind off of it…so I came home to talk to you. You always bring out the better in me and you always know how to make me happy, so I thought this was best. But…" he pauses to inhale shakily. "…but now I see that that was the wrong choice."

"What do you mean?"

"This. What we're doing. It's wrong."

Everything is beginning to make sense now. His sudden actions were out of desperation, not love. There was no passion in the things he did, only sorrow. I feel sad, for some reason.

"You're my brother…my flesh and blood. I wanted something to make me feel better…anything, to make me feel better. But in my attempts to cheer me up, I've ruined you. I took your first kiss without consent and, if I didn't bring myself back to reality…I could've done so much worse."

"Ven…"

"And I knew that you would've taken it…because you love me and would be willing to do anything…right? You would take it without question and without resisting if you knew that it would make me happier…I can't do anything without bringing you down with me."

"That's not tru—"

"Yes it is, damn it! I killed Kaa-san! I left you alone! And now I do this! Why do I have to keep hurting you, Roxas! Why!"

He breaks into full sobs and holds me close, burying his face into my chest. I can't stand to see him like this…He must have been suffering for so long. When Kaa-san died, he began to hate himself. He always blamed himself, but I never knew why. I never blamed him, though. It wasn't his fault. Kaa-san killed herself. He had nothing to do with it. Nothing to do with it. When Kairi came into our lives, and when she took his hand and led him away, I was left alone. I always thought that it was because he was getting tired of that world we lived in together, and the world outside of ours was just so tempting at the time that he decided to leave and never come back. But even then, I never blamed him. It wasn't his fault he was led astray. It wasn't his fault. And now, this person – I'm assuming it's a girl – that denied Venii-san's love…if only they knew how lucky they were to have even been considered in receiving it. They hurt him. They shattered his heart, and in an attempt to piece it back together, he came to me for love and affection. I'll never blame him for this, either.

"It's not your fault, Ven. Really," my grip on his body tightens. I fight back my own tears. I have to be the strong sibling. I have to be, for Venii-san. "So, please…don't always blame yourself for everything."

"….."

He calms down a little, much to my relief. His body is heavy on mine, and I'm guessing that he's really worn out. I have heard somewhere that crying a lot will make you tired. Guess it's true.

"…Roxas?"

"Yeah?"

"…thank you."

Those are the last words I hear leave his mouth, quiet breathing following. I look down and see him sleeping soundly in my arms. I hold him gently, letting him sleep. As I stare down at that innocent face, my mind begins to wander. Has he really been blaming himself for everything? How could somebody who looks so beautiful be in so much pain? Who would be cruel enough to shatter his pure heart and break him? …who, indeed. If his heart is filled with sorrow, then mine is now filled with rage. I can't believe I didn't see it before. Who else does Venii-san hang out with all of the time to the point where they can learn every last detail about him: how to make him fall for them, how to lead him on, how to completely crush him.

Kairi.

* * *

**Author's Note:**

Aaaaaaaagh. It's midnight on a school night and I am lacking in sleep as it is. I certainly hope you people are happy. Oh well. It's not as good and make-outty as I would've liked, but I do think it's cute. And angst! Gotta have that angst! :D And yes, those are Panic! At the Disco lyrics. I've recently become obssessed with them...never really listened to them before. Such a waste of life! D:

Maybe now we'll finally see the relationship between Roxas and Kairi? 8D

Review, please! They are my only reasons for living! D:


	5. Innocent Sorrow

**Two. Years. Prior.**

**

* * *

**

"What's that you're drawing, Roxas?"

I look up to a pair of ocean-blue eyes staring down at me and my sketchpad. My eyes glance down to the picture I'm holding, my lips twiching slightly in a pathetic attempt to find words to respond. "It's...uhh..." is all I manage to say before it's snatched from my hands. I blink and stare at my empty palms, stunned from surprise.

"This is really pretty! Who's this lady surrounded by butterflies? Is she someone you saw in your dreams, like one of those visions of your true love you see in movies?"

"H-Hey! Give that back!" I leap up to my feet with my arms stretched in front of me, flailing about to snatch it back. Unfortunately, I'm too short and this guy has already gone through a growth spurt. Damn my short height.

"Leave him alone, Sora," a familiar voice breaks in. The two of us look in the direction of the voice and the person it belongs to, approaching us. Seeing this as my chance to claim what's mine, I spring into the air and swipe the sketchpad from Sora's hands.

"Oh, c'mon, Ven. I just wanted to see what he was drawing~" he pouts playfully, clinging onto Venii-san's shirt. I frown.

"You didn't have to take it away from me!" I glare at Sora, clutching the sketchpad close against my chest. "I just wanted to see it, Roxas. Calm down."

I return to my spot under the tree, plopping down onto the soft and green grass that feels cool in the shade. Suddenly panicking, I remove it from my clothing and examine it carefully. Good. None of it smudged. My hand picks up the pencil that fell onto the ground when I went after my drawing. I continue sketching, ignoring Sora's and Riku's distant voices and laughter and the sounds of feet getting closer to me.

"You've really improved, Roku-chan," Venii-san's voice comes from over my shoulder. I pause and look to the side for a moment. "...thanks..."

"Hey."

He moves from his spot and sits beside me under the tree. His arms wrap around me and they pull me against his chest. "It's been six years today, Roxas. I know you're hurting, and I know that it's because you're starting to forget."

I blink, frozen. What did he mean by that? "W-What are you talking about, Venii-san?"

"This." His index finger points to my drawing. "You draw a picture of her every year since it happened on this day. But, I've noticed that with each passing year, they start getting more and more vague. Like, you can't even see her face in this one." I look down at my picture. ...oh my God, he's right. Little by little, I've somehow forgotten what she looked like. I think first, it was her eyes. Then it was her nose. Ears. The last thing I could remember was her smile. It was beautiful, and it was always the brightest whenever I drew her something. Now, that smile is gone. Everything...gone. We don't even have any pictures left of her to look at. The only ones we have are really badly torn, and unfortunately we can't make out anybody's face. We still have the ones I drew of her, but they were drawn when I was really young and probably don't even look like the real thing. There was, however, one photo of us as a family. It was taken about a year before the incident. However, because the universe sucks and is out to get us, it's lost and has been lost for years. I don't think we'll ever see it again.

"...I miss her, Ven. I miss her a lot."

"I know, Roxas. I miss Kaa-san, too." We're both silent for a brief moment.

Six years...has it really been that long already?

I remember Venii-san and I coming home from school that day...We were only eight years old, and we had just started our second term of third grade. Tou-san was at work, as usual. He was telling us about a new computer game that they were working on, and he wanted to bring home a copy of the demo once it was finished. It was supposed to be done that day. We were really excited and rushed home to get our homework done as soon we were let out of class. We knew that Kaa-san would be waiting at home; she had just recently gotten out of the hospital for something I didn't quite understand at the time...something about a baby? Everyone was happy to be home...everyone, except for Kaa-san. Ever since she left the hospital, something was off about her. She didn't smile as often as she used to and she never told us what was wrong, just, "All of my worries woud be over soon, you shouldn't worry about me." I wanted to believe her.

The instant we got home, we began to unpack our backpacks. Tou-san said we could play it only if our work was done, so we wanted to surprise him and get it finished before he came home. Kaa-san didn't greet us at the door like she usually did. I told Venii-san that I had to use the bathroom, and since we always did our work together, he said he would wait for me. I was so naiive. I happily rushed to the bathroom, expecting this day to be like any other. The bathroom door was shut, which was odd since we usually left it open when nobody's in there. But I was too happy and excited to really notice. It took just three seconds after opening that door for the world as I knew it to come crashing down like glass.

"Roku-chan, we shouldn't be sitting here moping," Venii-san's voice breaks me out of my thoughts. "This picture is really good. So after we're done hanging out here, let's put it in a frame and stop by her grave, okay?" I look over my shoulder at him and I can see him smiling weakly. "...alright."

"Okay~!" A bright grin beams onto his face and he pushes me off of him, before leaping to his feet. "Sora, Riku, and I are gonna play some football. Do you wanna join in?" he asks, looking down at me. I shake my head. "No, thank you. You know I'm not that athletic and I would just be a handicap."

"...alrighty, then. If you say so," he shrugs. I watch as my older brother runs out into the sunlight toward the other two boys. Sora Hikarine and Riku Kashizou. They met the two of us last year. Sora and Venii-san are pretty close, so he's usually with us. Riku's pretty quiet and I don't know much about him, though...maybe he's like me? I should find out what kind of person he's like. I return to my drawing, listening to their playful arguments about how it's two against one and that it wouldn't be fair anyway since Venii-san is just so good at football. He's been playing ever since we were really little and he's really dead-set on becoming the best football player ever. They really don't have a chance and were probably counting on me joining in for once to hold him back. Ha.

"Hello."

I jump a little against the tree trunk, startled to suddenly hear an unknown voice. My eyes leave the picture in front of me to glance up at the stranger staring down at me, their hands on their knees as they bend over to look at me. It's a girl I've never seen before..could she have just moved into the area? Her eyes are a bright and deep blue, kind of like the sky when the dawn isn't quite so dark. Her skin is fair, not a blemish in sight, her mouth is smile and in a kind smile, and the way her short and red hair frames her face makes her look innoce-

Red.

I just stare up at her with wide eyes, focusing on how red her hair is. It's not the fact that she has red hair - it's the shade of hair...it's the exact same shade as Kaa-san was that day. Suddenly my surroundings warp and all I see is red and white...I'm back in the bathroom, just walking in to see something nobody should ever have to see. Red...everywhere...**blood**...there's so _much_...on the floor...the bath tub...the shower curtains...

I don't remember screaming. I don't even remember making it out of the bathroom. I just kind of...blacked out when I first saw it. I have always been weak when it came to blood, but when I saw all of that...all of that blood in my own home, at such a young age...from my own mother...I remember my legs shaking violently, and my eyes rolling back, and my face meeting the tiled floor of the bathroom. When I woke up, I found that somehow I had gotten to the hospital. I was lying in a patient bed, wrapped in clean white sheets, surrounded by clean white walls. Venii-san was in hysterics, squeezing my hand tightly and pleading with me to wake up. The second he saw that I was conscious, he wrapped his arms around me in a suffocating embrace and sobbed horribly, screaming out apologies. I could only stare in confusion, wondering what in the hell was going on. Why was Venii-san crying, or better yet: what was he apologizing for? What was I doing here? What was going on?

"Hello?"

My thoughts suddenly bring me back. I'm in the park, staring up at this girl I don't know. "H-Huh?" I stammer. She giggles a little.

"You were staring at me for a few minutes. Do you usually space out like that?" I look away, feeling my cheeks become red. "N-No...Sorry..."

"What's your name?"

"...Roxas."

"That's a cool name! It doesn't sound Japanese! Are your parents from another country?"

"No."

"Oh. Oh! I'm Kairi! I just moved here with my family and I was hoping to find some kids my age that lived around here." She moves to sit next to me. Her eyes widen upon seeing the drawing. "Woooow~! You can draw? That's really, really good! Waaaay better than I can do!"

"T...Thanks..."

She scoots closer to get a better view of the picture. I lean back a little from the red of her hair. It smells of death, like the bathroom did six years ago when I first walked into it. The color just looks so much like that blood, I think I might pass out again. Have to stay awake...Have to stay awake...

"Roku-chaaaan~!" Venii-san's voice brings me back. I shake off the dizziness and look in his direction, watching as he runs toward me and this girl named Kairi. "I think you might need to help Sora and-" he pauses. "Who's this?"

I look over at Kairi, who is wearing the biggest smile a teenage girl could possibly have without breaking her face in half. "No way! Roxas, you're a twin?" she shouts excitedly, jumping onto her feet to greet my brother.

"My name's Kairi!"

"Nice to meet you, Kairi! I'm Ventus! But you can call me Ven!" he smiles in a friendly way, holding out his hand for her to shake it. She takes it and jumps up and down in a fight of joy. "I've never seen a pair of twins before! You two look identical!"

I can only watch the scene in front of me. Venii-san is smiling and holding hands with a girl neither of us have ever met before. ...he's never smiled this much since Kaa-san died. My spirits lift a little to see him finally cheer up after brooding for so long...but then begin to sink when I realize that the reason he's smiling like this isn't because of me. I hear Sora and Riku calling Venii-san over for a rematch. We've been here for three hours, and if we want to get a frame for this picture before the store closes, we should be leaving now. Sorry, guys. No rematch today.

"Sorry, Kairi. But, Ven and I need to get going," I apologize, standing up. "There's somewhere we have to be."

"Awwwh~! You have to go already?" Kairi frowns a little. I turn to walk away. "Yup. We come here every day, though. So if you stop by the same time tomorrow, we can-" I freeze. My body turns to look behind me and I find that Venii-san is still under the tree standing next to Kairi. He has a guilty look on his face.

"...actually, Roxas. You can go on ahead. Sora and Riku are asking for a second serving of ass-whooping. I'll catch up with you, I promise." He looks at me reassuringly, and forces a smile onto his face. I blink, mouth agape, and my eyes follow as Kairi drags him by the hand to Sora and Riku. Never once has Venii-san turned me away to be with a stranger, a girl no less. That takes a shot at my pride a little.

"But...Don't you want to visit Kaa-san?" I call out as the distance between us gets wider and wider. "I'll be there! I promise!" he calls back.

I promise...

**

* * *

**

****

.Present.

My fingers run through those soft, golden locks of my brother's for about the two- or three-hundredth time as I continue to be lost in my memories. I haven't been keeping count of how often I've stroked his hair or how long he's been sleeping in my embrace. The stereo has gone through the CD about four or five times, so it must have been at least a few hours. I don't mind, though. As long as I can hold and watch over my beloved Venii-san, I'm content. I can hear him mumble something in his sleep, and I laugh quietly. You are so cute, nii-san. I could fall in love with you if you weren't my brother.

_That's when you stu-stu-stutter something profound_

_to the support on the line and_

_With the way you've been talking, **every word**_

_gets you a step **closer** to **Hell**._

I freeze. Those lyrics coming up at the same time I mentally admit that I could fall in love with my brother...that's creepy. It's possible that God made it that well-timed, and it's more likely that it's just a coincidence, but it's creepy nonetheless.

_...you know you should_

_take it a day at a time._

Venii-san moves a little in my grasp. I look down to see if he's waking up, but it seems that he's just shifting his sleeping position. He rolls off of my lap and falls onto my mattress, curling up into my pillow. My eyes can't break away from his face. The way he looks so peaceful while he's sleeping brings a smile to my face, and I can't help but caress his cheek with my hand. It's really hard to believe that not too long ago he was breaking down with tears streaming down his face and blaming himself for everything that's ever happened. I think back to when Kairi first took Venii-san away, seeing the genuine, happy smile on his face. Kairi, the same person who brought back his lovely smile, broke his heart. She gave him happiness, then took it away. What she did is unforgivable.

_...you know you should_

_take it a day at a time._

Okay, God. I get it. You want me to calm down and not do anything rash. Or is it that I shouldn't be thinking this way to my brother?

_I am alone in this bed_

_House and head,_

_She never-_

_**RINGITY DING DING DINGA DOOOOOONG**_

_**RINGITY DONG DING DOOOOOONG**_

_**DING DING DA DINGY DOOOOONG**_

_**RINGITY DING DING DOOOONG**_

My head turns to the doorway, hearing that damn ringtone from Venii-san's phone coming from the living room. Sighing, my hand moves from his face and I shift my weight to crawl off of the bed. I have one foot on the floor when I feel something tugging at my shirt. My eyes instinctively move back to look at what's tugging on my shirt. I see a hand, and I follow the arm it's connected to up to the shoulder, the neck, then finally onto the hazed eyes that are sleepily looking up at me.

"...Don't...leave me..."

His voice is soft and tired. He's probably just in one of those states of sleep where you subconsciously do things out of reflex or instinct. He's just so adorable when he's half-asleep, I fail to hold back the smile that easily takes over my face. My hand returns to his face, brushing aside his yellow bangs as I lean down. My lips gently press against his forehead.

"You don't have to worry...I'm not going anywhere," I whisper. A drowsy smile creeps onto his lips and his eyes flutter shut. I can see his body relax and his hand drops from my shirt. Pleased that he's back to sleeping soundly, I get off of my bed and make my way to the living room. The damn thing is on the table by the couch, lit up like a Christmas tree.

_**RINGITY DING DING DINGA DOOOOONG**_

_**RINGITY DONG DING DOOOO-**_

Damn. Figures. Just as I get to it, I miss the call. Who was it, anyway? I could call them back and pretend to be Venii-san, then give him the message later. My thumb flips open his phone and I see that he has one missed call. My eyes scroll down to see who it was that just called.

_Kairi_

I smirk slyly. Kairi. That bitch had the nerve to call after what she did to Venii-san? Wow. I press "Ignore", flip the phone shut, carelessly toss it back onto the table, turn on my heel, and make my way back to our bedroom. She's not getting any response from here. Not from Venii-san and definitely not from me. And she never will.

_I_ sure as Hell ain't telling him she called.

* * *

"God damn it…"

"What?" I turn to look over my shoulder at my co-worker while I'm bending down into the ice cream rows to scoop this particular porker his order. He's a regular here…Pence, I think his name is.

"I just found out this morning that I'm gettin' evicted from my crib."

"Oh. That's rough, man," I make a face as I put the fifth scoop onto the kid's cone. How much ice cream can one fourth grader eat? Jesus!

"Here ya go, kid," I hand him the Leaning Tower of Pistachio ice cream after his chubby little hands pass me the money due. The grin he has on his face when he finally has the treat in his hands is so cute, it's disgusting. And by "cute", I mean in that so-ugly-it's-cute way.

"Thanks! Bye, Mister!" he calls back as he waddles his way out of the door.

"I mean, you know I work my ass off all day, right? Yet for some reason, I can't make the monthly payment," Axel leans on the top of the counter, sighing in despair.

"Maybe that's because you used to spend a lot of that money on cigs. You haven't had any since you quit, right?" I raise a suspicious eyebrow. "No way, dude. I'm off for good. I'm legit."

"Good."

"But, like, how do you do it? Don't you live in an apartment, too? And doesn't your brother live with you?"

"Yeah. But our dad sends us the monthly rent from overseas. I'm here working this job to get things like food and basic necessities," I also lean against the counter. "You lucky bastard," he grins. I smirk arrogantly. I am a pretty lucky bastard, aren't I?

"But, shiiiiiiiiit. What am I gonna do?" He furrows his eyebrows a little, trying to think of a way to solve his situation. I think as well. This guy has been pretty nice to me ever since I first started working here. He's pretty cool, and I don't think he'll get into too much trouble if he's really as straight as he says he is. Better make sure.

"Depends. Do you do any drugs?"

"No way, Rox. I may be a stupid adult, but I ain't _that_ stupid. I like whatever brain cells I have left."

"Do you drink?"

"Can't stand the taste of alcohol."

"What about hookers? You like 'em?"

"I like to keep my dick STD-free, thank you very much!"

"Do you clean up your messes?"

"I do most of the time, but I don't see how this is relevant to—"

"Are you religious?"

"Whaaa?"

"Do you partake in any religious activities?"

"Ehh…Christmas is usually it."

"Alright. If I talk to my brother about it…I could see if you could stay with us."

The expression Axel has here is just priceless. It's like he's just won the lottery. "….you serious?" I nod. He grins the toothiest grin I have ever seen, grabs my wrist, and yanks me into his chest. His arms wrap around me tightly and refuse to let go.

"Aghso! Wagt da hell?" My face is shoved into his body in this embrace.

"You are the _best _friend any guy could _ever_ want, you got that fuggin' _memorized_?" He shouts happily. My arms flail and eventually, I put up enough of a fight to get out of his death grip. There's another fourth-grade regular, standing there and staring at us with wide, frightened eyes.

"O-Olette! What'll be today?" I stammer, trying to change the subject before she even begins it.

"Are you two gay?"

Damn it!

* * *

**Author's Note:**

Three updates in one week? It's a miracle! Hopefully this provides the reader with an idea of what exactly happened between Roxas and Kairi that made him hate her so much. Sorry that the flashbacks of him walking in on the bloody scene were a bit touchy and slightly intense. But I thought this would really hit the reader where it matters. :3

And yes! Axel is moving in and becoming even more of a character than just being on the side! Can anyone else picture Roxas, Ven, and Axel spending Christmas together? 8D

Please review! ^^


	6. Take that, Sailor Uniform!

Has it really already been a month since Axel moved in with us? And has it really taken a month before Axel finally got used to seeing a pair of identical twins on a daily basis? I mean, I know he's always referring to himself as a "stupid adult", but really? _Really_? Anyway, I digress. The point is, time sure has flown by since we got another roommate. I remember the look on his face when I first led him into our apartment.

I was carrying his garbage bag full of his clothes and he had a couple boxes full of his "important things" - which consisted of his many hair products, a couple hand-held systems he had received for his birthday a few years back, and his CDs (among a variety of other things he wouldn't and still won't let me see...huh). We walked in and were greeted by Venii-san, who was fixing up the living room so Axel could sleep on the couch. I had my back turned to him when I heard something crash. When I turned around, Axel had this look of utter disbelief, as if Jesus himself was standing before him.

_"W-What in the- Roxas! You never told me you had a twin!"_

_"Ehh? I thought I told you that I had a brother who gets mistaken for me all the time."_

_"But...a **twin**!"_

He would ask Venii-san things, like if we ever switched places (which, when he admitted we did, Axel nearly had a heart attack after thinking about how many times the "Roxas" he knew at work could've really been his brother), or if that whole "twin telekinesis" thing really existed between us, or if we had some sort of twincestual relationship like he saw in manga. Granted, that last one made both of our faces grow bright red, having just experienced that rather awkward emotional breakdown after Venii-san's rejection not too long before. I wouldn't exactly call that "twincestual", or even really "homosexual". Just, "consoling"...right?

"Yo, Rox!"

"Hmm?" I look over my shoulder and the back of the couch to see Axel and Venii-san just stepping in through the door. They left to run some errands about an hour ago...what took them so long? And what's with those "Kosupurei Shoppu" bags they're carrying?

"Okay! So, y'know how it's Halloween?" my brother begins, rummaging through his bag in search of something. "Uhh...yeah? What about it?"

"Well, while we were out, Axel came up with this great idea: the three of us go around the neighborhood and trick-or-treat!" The look on my face must have amused them, because they're laughing now. "Ven? Don't you think we're all maybe a little too, I dunno, _old_ for trick-or-treating?"

"_Too old_? Roxas, we used to go out every year!"

"Yeah, then we turned ten."

"Rox, you can _never_ be too old for free candy. Trust me."

"I don't trust stupid adults, Axel. Ven, let's just stay home like we always d-"

"B-But, Axel and I already got the costumes!" Venii-san frowns woefully, holding up the bag that, I'm assuming, has my costume. I stare at it for a brief moment. "...fine. What kind of costumes did you get, anyway?" My eyes widen as he pulls it out of the bag and I leap onto my feet in shock.

"Oh, _hell_ no...!"

* * *

How did things end up like this...?

"Awesome! Thanks, ma'am!" Venii-san thanks an elderly woman after she places a couple handfuls of candy into his make-shift candy bag (which is just one of our really old pillow cases). "Anytime, deary. And you go gentle on Roxas-kun here, alright?" she smiles warmly, standing up onto her tip-toes to tossle my hair. I grumble something under my breath, my face hot from all that blood that's probably making it blush like a pepper right now.

"Thank you, ma'am..." I murmur as she places the same amount of candy into my own bag. "You two just look so adorable together! And my, how you've grown! I remember just a couple years ago, when you were about a foot shorter. I envy your youth," she giggles. I chuckle nervously, not wanting to point out that only _I _was a foot shorter two years ago. "Run along now! You don't want to stay out too late, or else someone might come along and just snatch you right up, you little cuties!" she waves her wrinkled hand "good-bye" and returns behind the door of her small house that smells like pumpkin pie and cinnamon. I sigh heavily, worn out. My bag is pretty full of candy, mostly from old women and hormonal middle school girls who happened to pass by us during this little festivity. But, that's not what's wearing me out.

"C'mon, Roxy. We have more houses to hit," Venii-san says with a stern voice. I feel a tug at the leather wrapped around my neck. "O-Okay..." I slowly turn on my heel and follow my older brother off of the woman's wooden, painted green porch.

"I have to say, that outfit _reeeeaaally_ suits you, Roku-chaaan~" he grins smugly, pulling me along by a leash. I feel my cheeks burn. "S-Shut up! What the hell am I doing dressed up as a maid, anyway! I didn't agree to this!" My fists clench and my shoulders stiffen as I shout in protest.

My body shivers a little as a gust of wind blows down the street. It flips up the front of the dress I was forced to wear, showing off all the little frills and bows and unmentionables to the entire neighborhood. Panicking, my hands quickly move to my thighs and crotch and hold the damn thing down. I then realize that the back is flapping in the wind as well, and to prevent further exposure, I fall to my knees. I'm still shivering. This dress feels like it's made of extremely fine silk! Not exactly the best thing to wear in the middle of autumn, Ven! What in the hell made you think that wearing something this light and revealing in this kind of weather was a good idea, you freaking idiot?

"You cold?" he asks bluntly. "Of course I am, you dumbass! Give me three good reasons why I shouldn't be!" I notice that quite a few girls are surrounding us, each and every one of them bearing a distinct look of anticipation on their faces. My eyes lock onto Ven's, my body shaking from the cold in this damn weather while he's just standing there, calm, completely shielded from the chilly air. Why does he get to wear the princely costume? He's _way_ more feminine than I am.

"...One," he begins unbuttoning his coat, "because you have me to provide for you and to care for you." He swings the coat over my shoulders in a single, fluid motion. I blink, dumbfounded. This coat is still very warm from his body heat...it feels nice. But, why are there murmurs coming from the crowd of girls around us? I watch as he moves to my level, getting down on one knee to meet me face to face.

"Two," his hands take mine, grasping them tightly and firmly, "because my love for you burns like the fire of a hundred suns, the fuel for my heart, and the one thing keeping me alive is the smile that I can bring to your face." My hands are pressed against his chest. The crowd begins to get stirred up. What is going on...

"And three," he looks at me, a devilish look in his eyes and a sly smile plastered onto his face that I know all too well as one hand moves and gently caresses my cheek, "because my body is eternally hot for you, and only the touch of your skin and the sound of your heart racing as you breathe my name from your soft lips can extinguish it."

_What._

**_The._**

**_Hell._**

I can only stare and blink at him in...in what? So many things! Anger! Shock! Confusion! Embarrassment! Shame! Awe! There is no way in hell that my brother came up with those lines by himself! I'm too frozen in place to mind or barely even notice the piercing squeals of the horde around us and the fact that the two of us are being pelted by copious amounts of candy and chocolate. I feel my eyebrow twitching. Ven just looks at me in triumph, a happy-go-lucky grin replacing that somewhat sexy look he wore just seconds ago.

"Well I'll be damned! Axel said this would work, but I never thought it would actually pull through!" he giggles. Wait a minute...what! What was this all about! Getting more candy!

"Keep going!"

"That is sooo hot!"

"Kiss him!"

My God, they're getting worse! Look at what you've done, Ven! How do you expect to get us out of this one!

"...V-...Ven...?" I squeak, his hands tightly grasping my covered shoulders. He has a dazed coloring in his eyes, and his face is attractive, almost seductive - or, at least he's trying to make it that way. This is just like one of those shoujo manga he's read...damn.

"And so, with this kiss, I ask you to be mine tonight."

"W-W-Wait, wha-"

I'm cut off as his lips press to mine. I petrify on the spot as the girls start screaming fits of joy and throwing more candy down on us. There are many clicks from cell phone cameras taking pictures of this moment. Oh, damn it. Damn it!

The way his lips are pressed against mine feels somewhat...familiar. It has the same force and hint of desperation as it did before, when he came to me for comfort and affection. And yet...this feels different. I can't quite put my finger on it, but for some reason I know this isn't just for some easy treats. Could it be...that he really wants this? He really, truly wants this?

"Tongue! Tongue! Use it!"

"Eat his face!"

"Gaaah, they're so cute!"

"That's sexy!"

After what seems like forever and a day of our lips locked and girls squealing, Ven finally pulls away. He gives me a sheepish grin, one that says, "Sorry, dude. I had to do it for the ladies. They give us free candy, y'know." I force a grin onto my face, and translate it into a language he can understand since he's such a dumbass.

"I am so kicking your ass when we get home."

* * *

The horde of girls now gone and pale from so much blood loss (I thought nosebleeds were only in anime...guess they happen in real life, too), Venii-san continues to walk down the street, hauling a freakin' huge bag of candy that we managed to collect and split between the two of us. Deciding that the show was done and we had enough sugar to give us diabetes about four times over, he had started leading the way to home about ten minutes ago. His coat is still over my shoulders. He demanded it back when the girls left, but there was no way in hell I would give up this warmth. I'd like to see him wear this dress and not complain about the cold.

"Well! That sure was fun!" he beams, having no trouble at all carrying his stash over his shoulder. I, on the other hand, am not quite as strong, and I start lagging behind. One would think these bags would've ripped. Damn, this material is stronger than I thought.

"What part of it, the candy or the utter humiliation?" I snap back. "Who's to say I wasn't referring to both? That look on your face was priceless!" I pout and stop walking. "I just want to know what gave you that idea. It was stupid."

"Didn't you hear me earlier? It was Axel's idea. He said that girls nowadays just love brotherly love, and if they're twins, it's even better. Think of it this way: it took us about seven seconds to get the same amount of candy that would've taken us two hours if we had gone around the neighborhood. Now we can go home before any creepers come out and still have plenty of time for that horror movie marathon we always do. Sound good?" he stops walking and glances over his shoulder at me. I _do_ enjoy our annual Halloween Horror Movie Marathon. We always go to the video rental store a few days in advance and pick the worst horror movies, then stay up all night making fun of them. It's something I look forward to doing with my only sibling.

"Yeah," I smile, and thrust my bag as hard as I can over my shoulder before running as well as I can in girl shoes (seriously, Venii-san?) to catch up. We take a few steps before realization hits me.

"Wait. Where's Axel?" I inquire, looking around. Sure enough, we were definitely lacking a redhead. "Oh. You didn't hear because you were changing in our room, but Axel told me that he was gonna split up from us to cover more ground. More variety to trade with, I guess."

"Oh..."

"You having some trouble there? Want me to carry your bag for you?" Geh! I'm lagging behind again. Before I can even begin to answer, Venii-san snatches my bag and carries it with his own. "C'mon. It's starting to get late, and you know that this is about the time all the weirdos start coming out," he reminds me as we continue on our way. He's right. I haven't seen any small children out and about for a while now. Heck, there are only a handful of teenagers left, and they're probably heading home just as we are.

I begin to grow uneasy, some churning feeling messing around in my gut. Have neighborhoods always been this creepy on a dark Halloween night? I try to remember, going back as far as my brain will let me. The last time we went trick-or-treating was when we were maybe nine or ten. We lived in a better neighborhood back then, and Tou-san was with us at all times. It wasn't scary because we had our father to protect us. But, now that we're on our own (more or less), this once happy holiday is starting to give me the creeps. My brother and I have been staying home watching movies every Halloween for the last five years...I must have forgotten what it was like being out and about this late.

I glance out the corner of my eye at Venii-san, relieved to see that he can carry both of our bags with only one hand. Damn, he's gained some muscle. My hand moves to grab his, that uneasy feeling growing stronger and stronger the closer we get to home. We freeze, hearing something crash in the alley we're about to pass. A cat emerges from the shadows and sprints across the street, and it's only after we realize it was nothing more than a cat that my heart resumes beating. The hold I have on his hand tightens.

"...Ven, I don't like this..." I speak softly. I don't trust this neighborhood, for some reason. Why shouldn't I? It's where we live, isn't it? It's home. Home is where you should feel safe.

"I don't, either. Let's hurry out of here," he responds, grabbing my hand just as tight. His pace quickens, dragging me along as I do my best to keep up with him. I can see our apartment complex two blocks away. Almost home, Venii-san. We're almost-

"Hey, baby."

"Ignore them, Roxas. Just ignore them," Venii-san whispers to me as we hurry to pass by three men who are hanging out under a street lamp, whistling. "Awwh, c'mon. You can't tell me that you're dressed in that get-up and don't want any fun." I'm about to turn my head to look at whoever said that, but-

"Don't look back."

"Ahh!" I squeak, feeling a rough hand wrap around my free wrist and yank me back. My hand is broken out of Venii-san's grasp, and suddenly I feel completely vulnerable. The man who took me away from my security turns me around. He's much taller than me, and by far fiercer looking. He has scars on his face and an eye patch is covering his left eye, his black hair streaked back like some actor from a cheesy American 50's flick. I would think of possibilities as to how he got that eye patch, but right now I have a much more important agenda in mind.

"Oooooh shiii- you're a dude!" he laughs. "Roxas!" I hear my brother call me before his voice is quickly muffled.

"L-Let me go!" I demand, struggling to break out of his grasp. "Look here, Blondie. Kids shouldn't be staying out past their bedtime, and I'd say that you're out pretty late. You must be a bad little boy, dressing up like you're some sex toy and roaming the streets late at night." He doesn't comply; actually, his grip only grows tighter the more I struggle.

"I said, let me go!"

"As if. You look pretty inexperienced for a little man-whore. Want me to teach you how to do things right?"

"Screw off!"

"Oooh, so this kid thinks he's a full-fledged badass now!" he laughs, and the other two men laugh with him. I can start feeling the loss of circulation in my hand. "I think it's time you learned how to respect your elders, kid."

The one-eyed man pulls me out from under the light and into some unknown area. I fight with all my might the entire time, but to no avail. The other two men follow us, and when I look back to see Venii-san, I'm relieved to see that all that's happened to him is being silenced with a hand covering his mouth. That relief is short-lived, however, as we are pushed into an empty lot. We're cornered against an old brick wall, unable to find an opening to escape. Oh, no. This scene reminds me of those horror movies we've always made fun of.

_"Don't go out by yourself, you dumb son of a- oh come on!"_

_"What the hell? Everyone knows not to stay out late on Halloween!"_

_"You know how you can tell who's a virgin?" "How?" "Whoever's the last to die."_

No witty comment is going to lighten this situation. This isn't just another B-movie. This is nothing like those movies. This is _real_. So what are they going to do to us? Torture us? Rape us? Beat the living snot out of us because they're some sort of drug addict with mental issues? Suck our blood? Eat our brains? ...right. Like those last two would really happen.

"Now then," the eye-patched man begins, one hand in his pocket. "We feel like being nice, so we'll be going easy on ya. Just do as we say, and you'll get out alive. Have we got a deal?"

"...a-alive?"

"Well, considering what we have in mind, I don't think 'unharmed' is really an option here." His hand emerges from his pocket and reveals what looks like a gun. I gulp. What's going to happen to us...?

"You." He points the gun at Venii-san, who stares back at him with wide, afraid eyes, frozen stiff. He then flicks the gun toward my direction, and I can see a smirk play his lips.

"Strip 'im."

…did he just say what I think he said? I look back and forth between the gun and my brother. Venii-san looks just as confused as I am.

"Well don't just stand there lookin' all stupid! Make it quick, and make it sexy!"

Venii-san scrambles over to me. We make eye-contact. The expression he has on his face…it breaks my heart. He and I both know that unless we want to be eating lead, we're going to have to follow through with whatever Cyclops here tells us. My brother whispers a soft apology as his hands start roaming about my body, looking for that zipper that keeps this thing secured onto me. His index finger and thumb of one hand find the zipper, and he hesitantly but surely and slowly starts bringing it down my back.

"I ain't seein' sexy!"

He quickens his actions, yanking down the zipper and pulling the sleeves down my arms, before removing the collar from my neck. His teeth latch onto a rather sensitive part of my neck, forcing me back against the wall. I don't know what sensation just coursed through my body, but it was unexpected and it definitely makes me react.

"Aaaaaaahhn…!" I exhale, throwing my head back and my hands clinging onto his shirt. It's suddenly cold, which means that the costume must be removed from my torso by now. Where's Venii-san's coat? Did I drop it on the way here? I could really use it right now, but it's not like it would matter. It would've been gone in a few seconds, anyway.

My eyelids shut tightly as I feel his teeth start to slowly move down to my collarbone, leaving the occasional kiss here and there as a way to apologize, I'm sure. My knees grow weak, and I slide down the wall to the ground. My brother falls with me, his nibbles turning into light kisses as he leaves my collarbone and moves to my shoulder and chest. He's positioned between my legs and his hands have moved from the clothes on my body to my wrists, keeping them pressed back against the wall behind me. Those men are making noise, whooping and urging Venii-san on. What kind of sick bastards are these people, forcing a brother upon his twin?

"Having fun there, Blondie?"

I open one eyelid and hazily look at the man with the eye patch as my twin slowly sucks on a patch of skin. His hand is securely holding the gun, finger on the trigger. Damn bastard. Without warning, I feel something vibrating against my thigh and I let out some weird, startled noise from deep in my throat. What in the hell was that…ah! A cell phone! Ven, you were actually smart for once!

It's still vibrating, which means he's probably getting a call. Could it be from Axel, wondering where we were? I can't think because of the location it just so happens to be. My body shakes with another vibration and another noise emerges from my lips. Of all the places it had to be…damn hormones.

"I think that's enough foreplay."

Ven stops and pulls away from my chest, and we relax a little. That is, until we realize what the last word was. Foreplay. It always comes before something that should be held only between a man and a woman. Oh my God. There was no way—

"Suck 'im dry."

Ven looks up at me and our eyes meet. Horror is plastered on his face, and I'm sure that my expression is the same. His head starts shaking back and forth, as if in denial that this is actually happening.

"What're ya waitin' for? Let's move it!"

"Now, now. Give the kid a second to think, Dilan. I'm sure that if they don't do anything soon, Braig will have to teach them a lesson."

"Couldn't have said it better myself, Aeleus," that man they called Braig takes a step toward us. He twirls the gun around his finger skillfully, and both my brother and I look back to him. My arms wrap around Ven's body in a protective manner, holding him close against my naked chest. He follows suit, and we hold each other, as if doing so would shield us from whatever's sure to come.

"Kids these days just don't know how to follow orders, do they? That's unfortunate. You two are a rather good-looking pair, too. Would've been nice to see Blondie over there beg for mercy." Ven glares at him and tightens his hold on me. "Shut up!"

"Ahahaha! You really are related, acting all tough and brave!" he laughs. "You've got the angry look down, that's for sure." He takes another step toward us. "Look, we're wastin' time. I mean, I personally could go all night like this. But if you're not willing to comply, I know a couple friends of mine who would be happy to change your mind. Get it?" The other two – Dilan and Aeleus, I think – smirk widely. "So. How 'bout it?"

"How 'bout I kick your fuggin' ass if you lay a finger on them!"

Ven and I look in the direction of the voice and find a figure dressed in a black Santa suit. I'd recognize that foul mouth anywhere! Axel! He found us!

"Oh damn it all to—"

"Let's get out of here, Braig. I don't think we can take on this guy."

"Yeah, yeah, I know." Dilan and Aeleus start running in the direction opposite of Axel, who's hurrying toward us. Braig looks down at us, meets my eyes then smiles slyly. "Be a good boy now!" is all he says before he follows his buddies, dropping the gun. By the time Axel finally reaches us, the three are already gone.

"Damn it! Are you guys alright? Did they hurt you?" he asks, kneeling down in front of us. I shake my head frantically as he inspects the damage.

"What in the hell did they do to you?"

"…Roxas?" Before I can answer Axel's question, Venii-san calls me. We turn in his direction to find that he's holding Braig's gun. He crawls back to us and hands it to me. It feels so light and like plastic, and there's a sloshing sound coming from inside it….a water gun? It was a freaking water gun he was threatening us with? I start to feel sick to my stomach at the thought of what would've happened if Axel wasn't there and if this wasn't just a toy.

"Those bastards!" Axel yells, getting onto his feet. He's about to chase them when Venii-san grabs his arm. "Axel…let's just go home. Roxas doesn't look too well."

Axel looks down at me and grows a little calmer. Sighing, he comes back to my side, bending down to help me make myself as decent as one can with a maid dress. I'm pulled onto my feet, and the zipper on the back of the dress is zipped up completely.

"You alright to walk? I can carry you if you want," he offers, seeing how shaky on my legs I am from fear. "…I would like that…thank you."

* * *

Axel had carried me back to our apartment. Even when I told him I could walk on my own, he refused to let me down. Venii-san wouldn't let him. I don't know why he's not as shaken up about the whole thing like I am. Regardless, we made it home without any more trouble. I'm sitting on my bed, clean and in a fresh pair of boxers. Venii-san is in the shower, and Axel is outside looking for any hint of where those guys went. We had already tried to tell him not to go, but he argued with us and left anyway.

I can't help but stare and prod at the little mark on my chest Venii-san gave during all that. He didn't suck so hard as to leave a bruise, so it should go away soon. My mind starts to wander and once again I find myself thinking of what would've happened if Axel didn't find us. Would Venii-san have gone through with it, even with a gun pointed at him? Granted, it was just a toy – a freaking toy. But, we didn't know that. Which would we have valued more: our "pure" relationship as brothers, or our lives? I don't know which is worse: the fact that he was forced to touch me like that, or the fact that, maybe deep down…I kind of _liked_ it?

"How're you feeling?" I look up, hearing my brother's voice. He's standing there in a towel, dripping wet with matted down hair, staring at me with concern. "I've been better…what about you?"

"Can't really complain, I guess…" he glances to the side before making his way to his dresser and getting out some clean boxers and pajama pants.

"All I know is that I am never going out that late on Halloween ever again," I look away before his towel drops, and like a gentleman (even if he is my own flesh and blood) I avert my eyes away from his body while he changes. They return to him when I notice that he's sitting across from me on my mattress.

"You might not remember, but the last time we went trick-or-treating with Tou-san ended badly, too," he starts. I tilt my head. Nope, I can't remember. "Oh?"

"Yeah. Tou-san took us to another neighborhood to broaden our variety, and since we were older, he felt we should see more of our surroundings. You saw a stray cat when I wasn't looking and decided to follow it. You really loved animals back then. When I turned around and couldn't find you, I went crazy. Tou-san found you a block away, playing with that cat on the curb…." He pauses. "…heh. Y'know, I didn't think I would've been as scared to lose you as I was back then. The second I noticed you were gone, I started crying and begging Tou-san to find you. When he did, I held you and told you that we weren't going to go out again if it meant losing you like that." A faint smile was just on his face, but now it's gone.

"….but then, tonight…I don't think you noticed, but I saw the way they were staring at you as we were going home. I didn't like it, so I tried to get us away from there as quickly as possible. Right, like that worked," he scoffs. "Seeing you in that guy's grasp, being so far away from you, and watching you squirm in his hand…I was scared. I didn't want him to do anything to you. But then he surprised me and told me to strip you down. I didn't want to violate you like that, Roku-chan. I'm sorry…"

"It's not your fault, Venii-san. You were only doing what you had to do to save our lives. Nobody can blame you for that. Actually…" I look away when his eyes meet mine. "…if it were me that had to violate you like that, I would've done it in a heartbeat." Was that the wrong thing to say? I don't think so, because now he's giving me this horrified look.

"When you consider the alternative, wouldn't you agree? I would've done it as quickly as possible, to get it over with so he would leave us alone," I continue. It's painful to say, but it's true. Even if we weren't really in that kind of danger, if we believed it threatened us, I would do anything to save him. Anything, even if it meant taking away his innocence. If anybody would've had to do it, it'd be me. He deserves more than a stranger doing that to him.

The door opens and shuts, meaning that Axel was back. We get up from my bed and make our way to the redhead who's taking off his shoes.

"Sorry, guys… No luck," he sighs. "It's alright, Axel. You did your best."

"Whatever."

"Roxas is right, Axel. They're probably long gone by now. Besides, it's not like they did any real harm…right?" he looks at me as if to confirm his belief.

"R-Right…no real harm done," I agree, before looking down at the hickey left on my chest.

No real harm done indeed…

The three of us spend the rest of the night watching the movies we've selected, trying to get our mind off of the events that transpired tonight. We decide on "Uzumaki", some J-Horror movie about a town obsessed with spirals. Total mind-screw, let me tell you that. Axel sits on the floor in front of the couch while my brother and I take it. I'm leaned up against his side, my eyes not moving away from the television, and his arm is wrapped around me. He must think I still need some comfort. Bah. I don't need your comfort, Venii-san. All I need right now is your warmth. I fail to realize my eyelids fluttering shut as I start to doze off, content with his body heat. That's all I need, right? His warmth and his body pressed to mine…

…right?

...right?

* * *

**Author's Note:**

Bleh. I managed to crap this one out, haha. Ironic chapter title, isn't it? I didn't know how to end it, so sorry it looks so horrible. ; A ;

Braig is such a douche. In case you're confused about what was going on: those guys were basically forcing Ven to rape Roxy. Free, live kiddy pron? That's what they wanted. But Axel wouldn't let them, 'cause he's a nice guy. He's legit. Got it memorized?

Roxas is in a maid outfit because my friend Yuna Amaine and I were texting earlier this week. I was like, "I don't think that chapter was enough for the fangirls (referring to chapter 4). I was thinking of putting in another 'sexy chapter'. Any sexy thoughts?" to which she responds with, "Ven should force Roxas into a maid dress. C: " I love you, Yuna~

Maid!Roxas might be seen again if I decide to do a one-shot between these two. ;D

Please review! They are my reason for living! D:


	7. Sleepless Beauty

**Author's Note:**

Aaaaagh! I'm so sorry for going for so long without an update! School has been taking over my life, but now that marching band season is finally over, I should have a lot more time to think and eventually write out what I come up with! With this chapter, there's a special person coming for the holidays! Who could it be? O:

* * *

**Sleepless Beauty**

**

* * *

**

…No, wait…if we add _these_ flavors together with _that_ type of cone, we would get—

"Hey, Roxas. Can you believe it's already December?"

Venii-san's voice breaks me out of my mental analyzing. …damn it, I forget where I left off. Axel is sitting on the floor in the living room across from me while I'm on the couch, papers and vials full of various colors and flavors just tossed everywhere on the coffee table.

"Ven… Axel and I are working," I sigh in exasperation. Vexen has given the two of us, being the younger employees and thus having a better feel of what kids want, the task of creating new ice cream flavors for the shop. We've been working at it for almost two hours now and so far have only gotten _one_ potentially decent flavor concocted…damn.

"But Christmas is in three days!" he whines. "Why do you two have to work so hard? It's a time to be celebrating and being with your family!"

"Tch. Yeah, try tellin' that to Vexen. Freakin' bastard is senile," Axel scoffs. I suddenly feel my brother's hands squeezing my shoulder and his body leaning over into mine.

"What can I do to help? I don't want you guys to be doing nothing but work the entire time I'm off school, Roxas."

I think for a moment. Venii-san isn't experienced with this kind of work like Axel and I are. Would he really be of any help at all? If anything, he could be a tester…but his taste buds are so wacked up and he has the weirdest tastes in food. Ehh, wouldn't hurt to try…

"You could try out some of these flavors…see which ones could go together," I speak bluntly, one hand reaching over and picking up a vial with a weird, pinkish-purple color to it and somehow it kinda sparkles. It reminds me of that one fairy so many girls in America faun over. What was his name again? Edward?

"Awesome!" Venii-san leaps over the back of the couch and plops down beside me. He snatches the vial from my hand, carefully opens it, and takes a sniff.

"Hmm…smells kinda…fruity. What's this one called?" he asks.

"Star Syrup," I reply, picking up another vial labeled Cotton Cloudcandy.

His eyebrows furrow as he (I'm assuming) goes into deep thought. I pause my work and look over to see him glancing between the Star Syrup he has in his hand and the Wedding Cake standing up on the table. Without warning, he grabs the Wedding Cake and takes a sniff of that as well, comparing the two vials in his hand before eying the Dancin' Lemon. His nose wrinkles once he tries out the Dancin' Lemon, obviously not satisfied with that particular mixture.

"Uhh….Ven?" Axel props his elbows onto the coffee table and leans onto them.

"Shush. I'm onto somethin'."

I really don't think I've ever seen Venii-san so focused on just one thing, not like this. He replaces the Dancin' Lemon with Cherryberry, and this time his reaction seems a bit more positive. But, he's acting like it's missing something. You have three different flavors, Ven. What else do yo—

"Aha!"

I set down the Cotton Cloudcandy in my hand and glance over at him. He has four different vials in his hand…what in the hell are you thinking, Ven?

"Try these, Roxas! They go great together!" he beams, shoving them with some gentleness into my hands. I examine his choices. Star Syrup, Wedding Cake, Cherryberry, and Merry Dairy. It's….interesting, to say the least.

"Uhh…you sure about these, Ven? They don't look like the type of flavors that would get along pretty well."

"Just put them together and try them. Trust me, it's gonna be great."

I sigh, defeated. Venii-san really is trying to help. It'd be ungrateful of me to at least give his creation a shot. Carefully, my thumb flicks open the lids to the vials and I bring them up to my nostrils. I take a little whiff and freeze. What the…did that actually smell…pleasant?

"Lemme see."

Axel takes the four ingredients from my hands and does the same.

"Hey, that's actually not too shabby! What'dya say we try 'em out with the ice cream maker when we go back into work, Rox?" he asks, writing the ingredients down onto the paper in front of him. Apparently, it's a potential success. We'll have to wait for the tasting, though.

"These, too!"

Wha—

"Ven!" I frown. What did he give me this time? Apple Pie and Honeybunch, huh? He looks at me with an eager grin plastered onto his face, waiting in anticipation for my approval. He really wants us to get this work over with, doesn't he? Rolling my eyes, I inhale the scents of these ingredients as well.

…this…this just isn't fair! How can my big brother, the biggest and laziest dork I know, who's never had to create ice cream flavors, get it on his first two tries! It took me seven months to perfect my sense of taste! What the hell, God!

"Your face tells me that you like it~"

"Shut up. …It smells nice."

Before I know it, we have eight different recipes for ice cream. I glance at the clock. Holy shi—how long have we been going at this?

"Now, let's see what we have. Flavor one: Chocolate Valentine, Forest Muffin, Jumbo Almond, and Moogle Coffee," Axel begins to go over the recipes. That first one was ours…it took us an hour to mix and match the right ones for it.

"Flavor two: Star Syrup, Wedding Cake, Cherryberry, and Merry Dairy. Flavor Three: Apple Pie and Honeybunch. Flavor Four: Bijou Bean, Crystal Sugar, and Golden Jam. Flavor Numbah Five: Balloon Melon, Heroic Orange, and Peach Fanasty. For number six, we have: Dancin' Lemon, Rocket Soda, and Thundercracker. Seven: Crystal Soda, Fizzy Tizzy, Mermaid Salt, and Sky Blue Mousse. And finally, for eight…" he pauses and looks down at the ingredients Venii-san most recently handed him. "…we have Cotton Cloudcandy, Cream Fluff, and Rainbow Syrup."*****

All of those? Yeah, they were just now created by Venii-san. …it only took him twenty minutes to come up with seven. Seven. God, why have you cursed me?

"You must have some pallet, you lucky bastard." I can hear that grin on Axel's face.

"So! Does this mean you're done working?" my brother asks with hope in his voice. I don't know if he's talking to me or to Axel, because I'm staring down at the floor clutching my head and writhing in disbelief. I can feel the presence of that dark cloud of gloom surround me like in anime. I'm so pathetic…I work in that damned ice cream store and can't even come up with a new kind without running into some trouble.

"Great! Hey, Roxas, you guys wanna go outside and have a snowball fight? You and me against Axel! What'dya say?" Venii-san rocks my body in an attempt to snap me out of my gloom. I hear Axel squeak in protest. In the three months he's lived here, he's gotten a taste of Venii-san's athleticism. Let's just say, he learned to never challenge my brother to a duel over the last anpan. Ever.

"Meh…" I drone out.

"C'mon! I'll race you!" he leaps off of the couch and judging by the sound of his footsteps, he runs back to our bedroom to prepare himself for battle. Axel stays on the floor, probably organizing all of our hard work – I hear papers shuffling. Well, at least we finally got all of this work out of the way. Now the three of us can actually relax for once.

The instant I sit up to stretch a slight cramp out of my back, I hear a knock at the door. Who in the hell could that be? I look over my shoulder at the door. Venii-san probably didn't heard it, since he's not running to answer it. Looks like it's my turn. I stand up and make my way over to it just as another knock is pounded against the front door. My hand turns the knob and I swing it open.

"How can I—" I freeze.

I can't blink. I can't breathe. I can only stare at the figure standing in front of me, towering over my relatively short height. His all-too familiar eyes meet with mine and we kinda just stand there having a contest of wills, neither one wanting to break this staring contest we've unintentionally begun. I recognize those eyes…they're gentle, kind, caring. They say that the eyes are the windows to the soul. You could tell how good of a person he was just by looking into these eyes. His lips form into a warm smile, one that I've missed but never really realized it until now.

"Hey, kiddo. How'ya been?"

"…T….Tou-san…?"

"Roxas, who's at the—" I hear Venii-san come into the room and stop some distance behind me. I can feel a grin clawing its way onto my face, and before I can control it, it unleashes.

"Tou-san!" I grin excitedly, leaping into the air and tackling our dad onto the hallway carpet.

"Hahahahaha! I can tell I've been missed!" he laughs then looks at my brother. "What's the matter, Ventus? You look like you've seen a ghost!"

"….Tou…san….?"

"What're you doing here? Isn't your company working on that big game that's coming out in four months?" I laugh. To say that I'm glad to see our father is quite the understatement. We haven't seen him in a year…holy crap.

"Yeah, but I decided to take some time off and spend this time with my boys. Damn, you two have really grown up," he states as he gets onto his feet, pulling me up with him. The instant he's upright, he meets face to face with Axel. Another staring contest ensues, and this time Tou-san doesn't have that smile on his face like he did when he saw me. That is never a good sign.

"Roxas. Who is this."

Uh, oh. He doesn't sound too amused.

"This is Axel. He's kind of like our roommate," Venii-san butts in to save Axel's ass. Tou-san raises an eyebrow suspiciously.

"I see… In that case, I would like to speak to your 'roommate'."

"Uh, yeah, sure…Go right ahead. You'll find that I'm a p-pretty straight guy….Heheheheh…" Axel laughs nervously. He's usually pretty cool and collected…but now he's practically melting under Tou-san's glare.

"So. Axel, was it?"

"Y-Yes, sir."

"Where exactly are you sleeping while you're staying in my boys' apartment?"

"On the couch, sir."

"Alrighty. Do you help with the chores?"

"Y-Yeah… We all take turns…"

"What about the rent?"

"Roxas and I both have a job, so…I help with the rent."

"You smoke?"

"W-Wha? No!"

"What about hookers? You like 'em?"

"No, sir. I don't want to run the risk of getting any diseases."

The questions just start flying while Tou-san and I are standing in the hallway with Venii-san and Axel standing in the doorway. This is pretty similar to how I questioned Axel before considering him to be our roommate. Like father, like son, I guess. Eventually it gets to the point where Axel is cowering behind Venii-san, afraid to continue with this interrogation. By the time he's on the ground at our father's feet with an expression on his face that hints he might start crying – which probably took, what, ten minutes? – Tou-san finally grins.

"Alright. I approve."

I think I just saw Axel's soul fly out through his nose.

"So, Tou-san, how was America?" Venii-san starts up a conversation with our father as the three of us walk back into the apartment – Axel crawls.

Our father's name is Tidus Kusabana. As I've already explained a while ago, he works with a video game company. Lately, he's been overseas, travelling America and going to various conventions to discuss details of the company's latest release. He's young, but he's definitely talented when it comes to graphic design and animation. He was actually my inspiration to get interested in arts; one time, when I was probably three or four years old, I saw him sketching some concept art for a game they were developing back then, and I fell in love with it. Now that I think about it, he's pretty athletic, too...Venii-san picked up his love for football a little while we saw Tou-san kicking a bright blue ball over a fence in our background. Kaa-san threw a huge fit because it ended up stuck in our neighbor's tree. The way that ball flew amazed Venii-san, and he wanted to kick one of those higher than Tou-san did.

"Oh, you know those Americans. They hear some new game's coming out and instantly rush to get whatever information they can. You'd be surprised at how obsessive some of those girls are with these male characters," Tou-san replies, looking around to see whatever damage the two of us (and maybe Axel) have done since the last time he's seen us.

"Are…they worse than the girls here?" You'd be crazy if you thought for one second that I had forgotten about that Halloween fiasco. I shudder at the thought of how many girls have me and my brother kissing while in costume.

"Oh yeah. Way worse."

"Ahh. …remind me to never visit."

"How come you don't have anything? Where are your bags?" Venii-san inquires. I failed to notice earlier, but our father did not have any luggage with him. Strange. I thought he was staying for the holidays.

"I'm staying in a hotel with Yuna. It's nearby, so the two of us will definitely be with you and Roxas for Christmas."

"Oh…so you're still seeing that woman?"

"Well….yes."

After Kaa-san died, Tou-san became extremely depressed. He would distract himself with his work and stress his body to the point where he would just collapse right then and there. He loved her so much, and suddenly having her gone like that tore his world apart. He was like that up until two years ago, when he met a lady named Yuna Hisakata-chan. He told me shortly after meeting her that she was a really nice and pretty woman, and after I met her myself, I had to agree. Her body was pretty full and mature, but her face gave off some sort of child-like innocence. Her eyes, in my opinion, are the loveliest part of her – I mean, one blue and one green? I've heard of people with those kinds of eyes, but never actually seen them before I met Yuna-chan.

I personally wasn't worried about Tou-san being with Yuna-chan. She's a police officer and well-trained, a black belt in karate and has the best aim out of any in her squad. They always seem really happy to be together whenever they come to visit (which, I'll be honest, isn't very often), and it makes me glad to see Tou-san out of his slump. Venii-san, however, doesn't exactly take kindly to her. I wonder what his beef is…

* * *

"Ne, Tou-san!"

"Hmm?"

"Now that I've grown up, I challenge you!"

"…Roxas, what in the hell are you talking about?"

"Remember when I was a kid? We'd have contests to see who could drink the most juice. I wanted to do the same thing you did with your buddies whenever they came over, but you said I was too little to drink the stuff you guys were."

"…you want to have a _drinking game_ with our **_dad_**?"

"Yes I do! He always went easy on me! I want a fair fight, right here! Right now!"

I delicately slam down two small glass cups next to Tou-san's bottle of sake on the coffee table. Tou-san is sitting between Axel and Venii-san on the couch watching television. Axel raises an eyebrow, Venii-san looks at me with shame, and Tou-san…laughs.

"You really want to take on your old man that badly?" he chortles before shooting me an evil grin. "You're on."

"Yeah!" I pump my fist in determination.

"Wha-!" Axel practically jumps out of his seat in shock.

"Tou-san! Are you sure that's responsible parenting!" Venii-san scolds.

"Who am I to deny a way to teach my boy: you never, ever challenge Tidus Kusabana to a drinking contest, lest you get a major ass-kicking," Tou-san sits up, ready to reclaim his title as Alcohol King.

"_Tou-san!_"

"Oh, calm down, Ventus. This'll be a way for him to learn not to start drinking. That hangover he'll get will be more than enough of an incentive to quit before he starts," he turns his attention towards me. "Fill 'er up, kiddo."

Tou-san and I had similar contests going on when I was little. I knew even then that when I won, it was because he would let me. I wanted to win fair and square, and today, I'll show him that I can excel at whatever he can do starting with this.

I watch as Tou-san brings the filled glass up to his lips, and in a flash he gulps down the sake. He slams it down to the table, grinning like a clown, that bastard.

"You're up."

"Yeah? Watch this!" I bring my own glass full of sake up to my mouth, swallow it down in one swig, and twirl the glass in my hand before slamming it down in a similar fashion, returning his grin – at least, I think I'm returning his grin. My head feels a little light.

"Not bad, not bad. How're you holdin' up?"

"Axel! Stop them!" I hear Venii-san demanding.

"Sorry, Ven…This isn't my place to step in."

"I'm fine, thank you for asking. Now I haveta ask…you ready for round 2?"

"Bring it."

"I intend to."

**A. Few. Rounds. Later.**

"Izzat… *hic* all ya… *sniff* got?" The room is spinning and colors are mixing together. I can just barely make out Tou-san, and he's sitting right in front of me. I can, however, make out that smug little grin plastered on his face…damn bastard…

"I could go all night, kiddo. You're forgetting, you're playing _my_ game."

"…*hic*"

"So. Learned your lesson yet?"

"No…*hic* way in…*hic* hell, old man, am I…*hic* losing to the likes of…*hic* _you_."

"Are you so sure? You've had six glasses. That's a lot for a kid your age, and most don't usually stay conscious for much longer. I'm willing to make a deal with you."

"…*hic*"

"If you can go for the next ten seconds without passing out, you win. How 'bout that?"

"…*hic* You're on."

"Alright."

**Ten.**

I hear a voice that sounds like mine beside me, asking me questions that I think I might have heard before but don't remember.

**Nine.**

My eyes shift in and out of focus, swirling around colors of the rainbow and colors I don't think really even exist outside of my drunken mind.

**Eight.**

My head feels light, but I'm having trouble maintaining my balance. My body sways a little to the side, colliding with a soft body that I assume is my brother.

**Seven.**

I force myself to sit upright again, inhaling deeply through my nose.

**Six.**

I shake my head a little to ward off some of the sake's effects. Doing so only makes my head spin even more.

**Five.**

A warm hand rests on my shoulder, attempting to support me and help me ease my way through this.

**Four.**

My stomach churns… My throat is burning… My brain is throbbing…

**Three.**

Everything seems blurry and…warped…spinning… Dar…darkness….taking…over…

**Two.**

"…*hic*"

**One.**

I lose.

* * *

"_What in the hell were you thinking! Letting Roxas do that!"_

V…Ven….?

"_I hate you!"_

Wha…Where…

"_Roxas…what are you…"_

"_Shut up."_

What's going…

"_Uuhn…"_

Where…am…

"_Mmph…aaaahn…."_

Ven…Ven…!

"_Ah!"_

Who's…who's hurting you…!

"_R-Ro…-"_

My eyes shoot open, my chest heaving. I feel sweat dampening my bangs, sticking them to my brow. It takes me a moment to realize that I'm lying on my back on a bed, staring up at the ceiling in mine and Venii-san's room. It's night. The room is so dark.

I sit up, quickly realizing that it was a huge mistake when I suddenly get dizzy and the room starts spinning. My head starts throbbing immensely, making me groan in pain, and my throat feels like it's on fire. I can still taste a bit of the sake on my tongue. Geez…I really did get drunk, didn't I?

Once maintaining enough of my composure to stay at least a little upright, I throw my legs over the side of the bed – wait. It's Venii-san's…what am I doing here? Where's Venii-san?

"V-" I pause to retch, "Ven…?" My voice is hoarse, and it kind of hurts to talk. I manage to stagger over to the door once I find that my brother is not in our room. I stumble and force myself to lean against the doorframe for support. Damn it…how long was I out for? Everything's so dark…is Tou-san still over? Is everyone asleep…No, wait. There's someone in the bathroom.

"Ven…?" I call out in a raspy voice, making my way to our bathroom. The door is shut. I rap my knuckle against the door, and upon the first knock, I hear a yelp mixed in with the sound of running water. A second later, it stops and whoever is in there is rummaging around looking for something. The door soon swings open, and the light from the bathroom blinds me, hurting my eyes and making the throbbing in my head worse. When I finally creak them open, I see my big brother standing in front of me with concern painted all over his face.

"Roxas! Are you okay?" he breathes out, his eyes wide and glassy. He looks almost…scared. When my eyes manage to focus a bit better, I finally take notice of something about him that seems…off.

"…oh my God."

I freeze, unable to breathe as I take in the sight in front of me.

His neck…his shoulders…chest…stomach…wrists… his lips…they're _red_…and covered in _bruises_. What in the hell…What in the hell happened! Who did this! Who hurt my brother! Who abused his body like this! I reach out to touch one of his bruises, but pause when I bite my lip and wince in pain. It hurts. I didn't notice before, but my own lips feel swollen…sore…

Then everything starts making sense.

…**_I_** did this to him.

Every one of those random little bits of memory comes rushing back, raping my mind to the point where it hurts. It hurts so much. My stomach does flips, and I can feel something beginning to rise out of me.

"Oh my G– "

"Ro– "

I cover my mouth with my hands, feeling bile making its way up my body. I push past my brother, rushing as fast as I can on weak knees to the toilet. I throw the seat up with one hand and collapse onto my knees in front of the bowl, leaning over it and releasing my stomach's contents.

"Roxas!"

My body shakes violently as I rid myself of whatever is in my system. My eyes are shut tightly, squeezing out a few tears. A warm hand presses against my back. Eventually, the vomit stops, and I feel better as far as my stomach goes.

"Are you okay?"

I glance over at the boy who looks just like me, my vision blurry through those involuntary tears. Even after everything I did to him…even after that look of fear he gave me just a moment ago…he still chooses to be there for me. My heart stings.

"…I'm so…so sorry…"

* * *

**Author's Note:**

BLAH! I finally got chapter 7 out! Whoo-hoo, go me! *does Roxas's victory dance*

It's Christmas time and Tidus came to visit his twin boys! Isn't he such a good father? :D *cough cough*

*****Please note: These are actual ingredients and recipes from Birth by Sleep. If you don't believe me, look it up.

I certainly hope Roxas has learned his lesson about drinking. He touches a certain big brother of his inappropriately when drunk. …please don't learn that lesson, Roxas. * w *

Chapter 8 shall finally introduce a certain red-headed girl as an actual character in Roxas's POV. Prepare yourselves for this: Roxas and Kairi in the same room. What shall happen? ;D

Review, please! D:


	8. Dirty

**Dirty**

**

* * *

**

"Huh? Oh, yeah. He's up. Yo, Roxas!"

My eyes groggily shift over to Venii-san who is currently walking into the bedroom, talking on his cell phone with Tou-san. The clock on our desk says 12:48.

"Tou-san wants to know if you felt like another drinking game was in order when he visits again."

"…go to hell," I growl, throwing my covers over my head. Venii-san laughs.

Never. _Ever_. Do a drinking game with our dad. I've learned this the hard way. I've also learned what happens when you drink excess amounts of alcohol. Let's just say that it will be a long time before going near that stuff again – and by "long time", I mean "never".

_Have some composure and where is your posture?  
Oh, no, no._

I close my eyes and drown myself in my American disco panicking band while Venii-san says things I don't pay attention to as he walks out of the room. Damn it…I feel like total shit. I think I'll just spend the day in bed to recover…

_You're pulling the trigger, pulling the trigger  
all wrong_

"Yo, Rox!"

…or not. I groan in agony.

"Whaaaaaaaaaat?" I sound annoyed and ill on purpose to give him the hint that I did not want to be bothered while getting through my first (and last) hang over. I thought it'd be over by now. I swear someone up there hates me.

"I just wanted to let you know that I'm leaving now. I'll see ya guys in five days, okay?"

I freeze. That's right…Axel was leaving today. He was going to his aunt's house to spend the holidays with his family. I thought he was going to spend it with us, but he suddenly got the phone call three days ago. I peek out from under my covers, looking up at him with wide eyes.

"…okay. See ya then, Axel…" my voice is soft.

"Feel better, little buddy, m'alright?"

"Yeah…thanks."

I watch as he turns his back to me and exits our bedroom. I never thought I'd say this, but I'm going to miss Axel. He's a pretty cool guy to be with, and Venii-san and I both saw him as a mature, older brother figure – hell, maybe even as a dad. Ever since we ran into those guys on Halloween, he's gone to great lengths to making sure the two of us were always okay. It's going to feel empty without him here, but it'll be alright. I have Venii-san with me.

_Have some composure and where is your posture?  
(You sure you should have let her have it?)  
You're pulling the trigger, pulling the trigger -  
(You sure you should have?)_

I cover my head again, wrapping myself in my sheets and snuggling into my mattress, burying my face into my pillow. It's so nice, dark and warm, a wonderful contrast to the bright and cold world just outside our window. My eyes close, losing myself once again as the music on my stereo lulls me to sleep.

_Give me envy, give me malice –  
Give me your attention.  
Give me envy, give me malice –  
Baby, give me a break_

"…He…ing…stor…"

I can only pick up little snippets of whatever my brother is telling me, stuck in that in-between state where you can fade in and out of consciousness.

"…meh?" I mumble in a pathetic attempt to ask him to repeat.

"Go…store…"

"…mmbgna." I don't feel like forming coherent sentences... Too tired…

"…right back…"

"…kay…"

My world slowly turns black as I finally drift off to sleep, not aware of what exactly our conversation was about. For what it's worth, I don't care. I want my sleep.

"…"

* * *

"…sleeping…don't disturb him…"

My eyes flutter open, my vision blurry from the sleep still in my eyes. I hear voices somewhere in the apartment, though I'm too drowsy to make out who they are or what they're saying. One of them sounds like Venii-san…

I sit up and stretch, throwing my covers off of me. The room doesn't look much brighter than before I fell asleep. How long was I out for? What time is it?

Those voices continue to converse out of my hearing ability, only able to pick up on the occasional word or syllable. I place my feet onto the ground, standing upright after lifting myself off of the bed. I manage to stumble over to my dresser and rummage through it, searching for pants. If there's someone else here, I don't want them to see me in nothing but my boxers.

Ahh, here we go, my favorite pair of tan and black pants. They're pretty comfortable and they're baggy around my thin legs, just the way I like my clothing. I shimmy them onto my body, tightening a belt to secure the rim around my hips before buttoning and zipping up. I don't bother to put on a shirt – I'm a guy, so it's not like I have any breasts to worry about. I'm actually pretty toned, but I'm nowhere near as buff as Venii-san. The kid's like a beast compared to me.

I stagger over to the doorway, leaving the bedroom and making my way into the living room.

"Ven, who's– " I pause upon walking in. Venii-san, sopping wet, is on the couch with somebody, patting their back and murmuring things to comfort them. He glances at me once my presence is known, and he gives me a sad look. I step forward, curious as to what exactly is going on. Venii-san stands up and hurries around the couch, getting in between me and whoever is here.

"Roxas, we need to talk."

"About?"

He looks away for a second.

"…Kairi ran away from home, and…she has nowhere to go."

…I don't like the way this is going.

"Do you think that, maybe when things at home get better, she could…stay with us?"

…I _definitely_ don't like the way this is going.

"I mean, it'll just be for a few days. Then she'll leave once things turn over, and everything will be okay."

"Are you crazy?"

I can't believe him…He would be willing to help the same girl who took his heart, smashed it into pieces before his eyes, broke him from the inside, turned him into a pathetic little thing? Even if he knows it'll give him nothing in return? Unbelievable!

"Well, we let Axel stay with us. And she won't even stay in the same room! She's willing to stay on the couch if she has to. She can cook for herself, she's a pretty tidy person, and she knows her boundaries."

"Ven…"

"Ven, it's…"

Both Venii-san and I turn to look at the red-haired girl crying on the couch. She's staring up at us with wide, glassy eyes, a few tears streaming down her face further dampening her already soaked and shivering body.

"It's okay…if you can't let me stay. I can always go to Olette's house, they have a spare room…" she manages to say. I stare at her for a moment, burning into her core while deep in thought.

"…can you tell me what happened?"

"Roxas, you mean–!"

"I'll decide whether or not it's something worth butting into, Ven. I just want to hear what's going on."

I don't want him to get the wrong idea. I am not going soft on her, and I am not warming up to her. If it'll make Venii-san happy, I'll think about it. But I need to know if it's worth letting her in.

"I got into a fight with…with my dad's girlfriend," Kairi inhaled, trying to regain her composure. If I remember correctly, her dad never married. His girlfriend, Kairi's mom, left them when she was just a small child. So, he's had to raise her himself…at least, that's what I've been told.

"I knew…I knew she wasn't what she told Dad she was…Ever since the day he introduced me to her, I always felt something was wrong with her," she paused to take a breath.

"The other day, when I came home from school, I saw a man leaving our house. I had seen him a few times before, but I didn't really think anything of it until…" Another pause. "…until, I saw her kiss him."

"So…she was cheating on him?" I inquire.

"Yes!" she nods her head violently, probably glad that I knew what she was getting at.

"Yesterday, when she wasn't around, I tried to tell him about what I saw. I knew he wouldn't believe me, so just in case, I took a few pictures of them with my cell phone when I found them kissing. I never got the chance to show him, though – she happened to walk in right before I could.

"Dad said he would talk about it with me later. I never got to. She found out that I knew and when she confronted me, everything blew up. We started screaming at each other, and it stayed verbal until she slapped me. I told her I had proof, and that if Dad was going to know, one of us had to tell him. It was either me or her. I ran out the door before she could say or do anything else. I didn't know where I was going, just as long as I was away from that house. And then, when Ven was on his way home from the convenience store, he ran into me and took me here," she finished, speaking slowly the entire time as if trying to recollect her thoughts.

I had been listening, pondering about what to do. On the one hand, she is the very thing I hate the most. She took my big brother away then broke his heart when he poured it out to her. But on the other hand, she is in need and my brother still has really strong feelings for her. He wants to help. …what do I do?

"Roxas? Can she stay with us?"

"…alright." I hear a gasp coming from her.

"Y-You mean it?"

"Yeah. I mean, I can't just turn the other way whenever someone needs help." No matter who they are. Damn me and my big heart…

"But, it will just be until this whole thing blows over. Got it?"

"Yes. Thank you, Roxas! Ven!" Kairi breaks down into tears, a smile emerging on her face. She must be really glad to get away from that woman, huh?

"Wait! Kairi, you're going to need some of your clothes if you're going to be staying for a while!" Venii-san gasps in realization. Kairi's shoulders slump.

"You're right…" she hangs her head. This means one of two things: either she'll have to go back and get them…or one of us will. We can't just buy her new clothes; that would be a waste.

"I'll get them."

Kairi and I simultaneously turn our heads to look at Venii-san. She glances down for a brief moment before fumbling around in her pocket for something. A second later, she pulls out a key-ring bearing three differently colored keys.

"You'll need this pink one to open my window…you remember where it is, right?" she asks softly. She must have figured that one Venii-san makes a decision, it's hard, if not impossible, to make him change his mind.

"Of course! I'll be back before you know it!" he beams. I blink, finally taking notice that there's a storm going on outside. Being in the middle of December, they probably got wet from falling snow.

"You should probably change clothes. You'll freeze if you go back out there in those wet clothes," I warn my brother. He shrugs me off, heading towards the door.

"I'll be fine, Roxas. It's not too far away. I won't be gone long."

"Ven…" I look at him sternly.

"You worry too much. I'll be fine, okay?" he gives me a reassuring look, one foot out the door. I stare at him for a moment, before sighing in defeat.

"Okay."

With that, he leaves and shuts the door behind him. I look over at Kairi and notice how wet she is. She'll get sick, too. If she's going to be staying here, I don't want that cold to spread.

"You should probably change, too."

"B-But I don't have any– "

"I know. You can use some of our clothing until Ven comes back," I turn on my heel and walk towards our bedroom, hearing light footsteps hurry behind me.

We enter mine and Venii-san's bedroom, though she stays at the doorway in an attempt to keep her distance. I search through my brother's drawers first, trying to avoid giving out any of my clothes.

Geh. Damn it. He has no clean clothes, whatsoever. Looks like she'll have to use some of mine.

"Uhm, R-Roxas…"

"Hmm."

"What's this music that's playing? I don't understand a lot of the words…"

"Oh. That's my favorite band. They're from America."

_Swear to shake it up if you swear to listen  
We're still so young and desperate for attention_

"I see… They sound good."

"Here," I change the subject, shoving one of my shirts and pairs of boxers into her arms. "We don't have any shirts long enough, so for the time being you can use these to act as shorts."

"O-Okay…" she stammers, her face turning a light shade of red.

_And I aim to be your eyes_

"This is our bathroom. You can change in here. When you're out of those clothes, I'll take them downstairs to the laundry room so they can get clean and dried," I brush past her, leading her to the bathroom. She follows quietly, trying not to make any noise with her step.

"Alright…Th-Thank you…"

She shuts the door upon entering the bathroom. I go into the living room to wait.

* * *

Come on…It's been ten minutes! TEN. FUCKING. MINUTES. How long does it take girls to change clothes? I mean, geez! Guys just take off and put on in ten _seconds_, if that!

I get up onto my feet, pushing myself off the couch and storm over to the bathroom. She's probably doing her hair or something. But her hair's so freaking short, it just barely brushes her shoulders. What can be done with hair that short?

I freeze, remembering how Venii-san and I style our own hair. It's _much_ shorter than that.

"Kairi, are you done yet?" I call in, knocking on the door and opening it upon finding it unlocked. The second I take a step in, I discover that opening the door was a very unwise decision.

"Ah!" Kairi squeaks, throwing a towel over herself and turning away, soaking wet from the shower she recently got out of. There's some steam lingering in the room making it smell clean. By the time she conceals herself, however, it's too late; I've already managed to catch a glimpse of her rather flat chest.

"S-Sorry!" I stammer out immediately, my eyes wide with shock. The door slams behind me as I hurry back out into the hall, turning my back to the door. My body shakes a little, and I feel my face set on fire. Why didn't she tell me she was planning on taking a shower! If I had known, we could have avoided this!

…okay, it's my fault. I should have waited for her to tell me not to come in. But still!

I run a hand through my hair, pondering about what to do. There's a naked girl in our apartment. She's the one my brother has had his eyes on for some time, I think. How long has he liked her? I didn't even know about his feelings until that one day…when he broke down…

"R-R-Roxas…?"

I jump a little, a bit startled by the sudden voice taking me out of my thoughts. I hesitantly peek over my shoulder, still shaking. Oh, thank goodness. She's wearing the clothes I gave her.

"Uh…H-Here! These are w-what you c-came for, r-right?"

Her face is a really bright, deep crimson color. I gulp, nodding violently and take the wet articles of clothing she hands to me. In this pile, there's her sweater, t-shirt, pants, socks, and –

…oh god.

"Something wrong?" she asks nervously.

"N-No. I'll be right back. You can go ahead and make yourself something to eat if you're hungry," I reply hastily, turning away to enter my room.

I leave our apartment with a bag of the wet clothes and a bag of mine and Venii-san's clothes after putting on a shirt and shoes and grabbing our laundry card. Kairi was making some instant ramen when I saw her in the kitchen on my way out, so she should be good for the time being. When I step into the elevator, I run into the old man who lives in the room below us. He eyes the bag full of girl clothes, looks up at me, and grins. It's creepy.

"So, ya finally got a girl in yer room, eh?"

"Aheheheh…she's one of Ven's friends who's staying with us for a few days," I chuckle nervously, rubbing the back of my neck.

"Well you youngsters keep it down. This old man needs his rest, y'see?" he winks. A shiver creeps through my spine. The doors open far too late when it finally arrives at my destination. I hurry out of the elevator and into the laundry room. I don't know which is worse about today: the fact that an old man assumed the three of us would be doing something rather nasty, or the fact that upstairs, Kairi isn't wearing a bra?

It's with me, in this bag, ready to be dried.

* * *

With the laundry done, I make my way back up to our room. Thank you God, that creep isn't in the elevator again. I use my key to open the door and I step in before kicking off my shoes, surprised to see my brother back home and making conversation with Kairi on the couch.

"Hey, Ven. When did you get back?"

"About two minutes ago. Man, it's a freakin' storm out there. Oh, hey. You did the laundry. Thanks, Roxas."

"Meh. Ven, you're soaking wet. Go take a shower and get warmed up before you get sick."

"Okay, _mommy_," he sighs, standing up and walking over to the bathroom. He shuts the door behind him after grabbing a towel and things are suddenly awkwardly quiet.

"Roxas, where are you going?"

"To bed. I feel like shit," I reply bluntly, grabbing the bags of clean clothes by the door for their future use. I hate cold weather. It makes me feel crappy.

I shut our bedroom door behind me, engulfing the room in darkness. The clock on our desk tells me that it's 8:13. Holy crap, this day went by fast. Then again, I slept for half of it. Now, time to sleep some more.

My shirt is mercilessly yanked over my head before being tossed carelessly to the floor. I shuffle my way over to the desk, turning on my stereo. It stops automatically after being in play for a certain amount of time, so whenever I fall asleep while it's on, it turns off sometime in the night.

_Watch your mouth, oh oh oh,  
Because your speech is slurred enough  
that you just might swallow your tongue_

I fall on top of my bed, snuggling into the warmth it offers. My eyes close, only to open a second later as I hear a rumble of thunder outside. That was surprising. We don't usually get thunderstorms in the winter. I actually didn't think it was possible. The shock dies away, though, and my eyes shut once more.

"…hey."

A whisper breaks through the darkness of the room. I was just almost asleep…damn it.

"What?" I whisper harshly enough to where they can hear my displeasure of being disturbed.

"Did you hear that thunder?" I recognize the voice belonging to Kairi. She sounds closer now.

"Yeah, I did. What of it?"

"It startled me."

"Okay? So what do you want?"

"Well…I was wondering…if I could stay with you? Just for the night, until the storm passes over?"

Wait a minute…what?

"…you've gotta be kidding me…" I groan into my pillow.

"Thunder scares me. Ever since I was a little girl, I was never able to get to sleep whenever it stormed outside. Please?"

I turn over to face her and show her the look on my face. Through the darkness I can see that she's kneeling in front of me beside my bed, looking at me with wide, pleading eyes that glow in the night.

"…what about Ven?"

"He's in the shower, remember?"

"…" I sigh.

"Fine. You can stay with me until he gets out. Okay?"

"Okay."

I shift over until I feel the wall beside my bed, providing ample room for her crawl into my bed. She shuffles under the covers, fidgeting a bit once settled. I turn my body towards the wall, my back facing her.

"I'm going to sleep now. _Good night_."

"G'night…"

My eyes close. The room is quiet, save for our breathing and the music playing, until another crack of thunder bursts through and breaks the silence. I hear her whimper and I can feel her body shaking, pressing against mine. She buries her face into my bare back, holding me close, pressing those too-small-to-be-even-considered breasts pressing through my shirt against my skin. I want to say something to object this kind of physical contact.

But, no words come out.

Eventually, she calms down, and I can feel her body relax beside mine. Her breathing slows and quiets. Did she just fall asleep? Well, so much for waiting until my brother came out. Oh well. It's not long before I begin to succumb to sleep as well.

_The hospice is a relaxing weekend getaway  
Where you're a cut above all the rest  
Sick and sad patients on first-name basis  
with all the top physicians…_

* * *

Thump.

This is now the _third_ time I've been pushed into the wall tonight. What in the hell is Kairi doing to keep shifting into me like that?

I open my eyes, bringing my face away from the wall. My nose feels sore from the rough contact. Kairi's arms are no longer wrapped around my torso, allowing me to sit up and investigate what could be wrong.

…oh.

She's sandwiched between my brother and me. Where the hell did he come from? He wasn't there when I fell asleep about (I glance at the clock) three hours ago. My bed's become too crowded for my tastes; I mean, I'm being pushed into the god-damn _wall_!

"Just take the bed, why don't ya," I mutter under my breath in a sigh, maneuvering my way over Kairi and Venii-san to make it to the floor. I manage to do so without killing myself, so that's a plus.

I take the shirt I threw on the floor and shove it back over my body, feeling a little chilly with this December winter. I exit the room in a hurry after grabbing a spare blanket and pillow from our closet, not being able to stand being in the same vicinity with the two of them together like this. It makes me gag.

My feet drag me over to the couch. I toss the pillow unceremoniously onto the end of it before plopping down on top of it, burying my face into the pillow while my arms pull the blanket over me. It's not nearly as comfortable as a mattress, but it's definitely better than being squished by two other people who don't seem to understand the term "personal space".

It's not as warm as the bed, either. What's pressing against my back is the backside of the couch – not a pair of small breasts. Yeah, hers are pretty small to the point where it's just sad, but they were still soft. Way better than this fake leathery material. I wonder if my brother will let her stay with me more oft–…

I smack myself, both mentally and physically.

What am I doing, thinking about Kairi like that? _Kairi_ of all people, the very person who's ruined my life? I blame my damn, raging male hormones.

Speaking of hormones, my brother must be pretty happy to be in there alone with her even if he doesn't know it yet. I don't get him sometimes; like, why did he decide to crawl into my bed, too? Was he that desperate to be near her? Even after what's she's done? He's either really devoted or really stupid.

That image of what I saw earlier flashes through my mind.

Oh, man…He would kill me if he ever knew that I got to see what she looked like under those clothes and he didn't. Even though it was an accident, he'd kill me. He'd definitely kill me. I feel heat coming to my face as the image briefly returns. I shift a little in my fetal position, curling up into the couch as I pull the blanket over my head.

"What he won't know won't hurt him…or me."

* * *

**Author's Note:**

Two chapters? In a span of 24 hours? I must really love you guys! :D

I came up with Kairi sneaking into Roxas's bed a really long time ago. I was trying to come up with ways for them to interact and show the audience that Kairi really isn't as bad of a person as Roxas makes her out to be. It's one of those character perspective things, y'know? Just because the main character says that another character is a bitch doesn't automatically make it true. This will definitely be coming into play with Ven's side of the story and how he views her. Buuuuut if you were loyal readers (like I'm sure you are ;D), you'd have read Masochist and Sadist. I put them up specifically to foreshadow another character's view on the same person.

We are beginning to near the climax of the story. I have a pretty good idea of what's going to happen in the next chapter. Getting the words to make it come alive is the tricky part…but since you've all already waited for a month for these two chapters to come out, another week or so isn't going to kill you…right? D:

Please review! They are my reason for living! D;


	9. Infection

**Author's Note:**

I know, I know; something must be wrong. I'm getting THREE chapters up over a course of a few days after being dead for a month. Well, as stated in a previous chapter, we are nearing the climax. I'm getting very excited for Ven's POV, mostly because I don't want to further spoil what's going to happen with the related one-shots such as Masochist and Sadist. I am going to have so much fun messing with Ven's emotions and his feelings towards Kairi. I guess I'm pretty sadistic myself, hehehehehe. ^^;;

This title is from an insert for Highschool of the Dead (which, if you haven't guessed by now, is also what this fanfiction is named after, the first ending). I think it applies pretty well here. How? You'll see… ;)

* * *

**Infection**

**

* * *

**

"But...Don't you want to visit Kaa-san?" I call out as the distance between us gets wider and wider.

"I'll be there! I promise!" he calls back.

I promise...

I watch as my brother is led away, for the first time in our lives. My feet stick to the ground below me, legs unwilling to move. Do I stay and watch, leaving Kaa-san all alone? Or do I go to see her, abandoning my own brother? They get farther and farther away, and all I can do is stand here and think about the right thing to do.

I begin to turn to walk away and fulfill a promise I intend to keep when, out of nowhere, she looks back at me. Even though she's far away, I can still see her face. Her eyes meet mine, despite the distance between us. My heart stops.

She looks…_sad_.

"Ven!"

A scream startles me awake, snapping me out of that dream – no, that memory of the first day. Jumping a bit from the noise and a bit disoriented from sleep, I forget where I am until my back meets the floor of the living room. My legs thrash about, kicking off the blanket that had wrapped around me tightly while I was sleeping. Once freed, I scramble onto my feet and hurry to the source of the noise, our bedroom.

"What's going on?" I pant a bit, standing in our doorway and watching the two for any hint of an answer.

Kairi is pressed against the wall, curling up into herself. Her body shakes a little, her face a bit flustered and her eyes not once breaking her gaze off of my brother in front of her. The clothes on her body are ruffled, messy, a bit more than what they would normally look like than from sleep alone. Her breathing is a bit heavy, and I can't help that something about her is off.

My big brother is sitting on the edge of the bed, shirtless, back turned to Kairi, elbows propped onto his knees. His head is held up by his hands, fingers gripping his temple as he tries to calm his breathing. I can hear him quietly muttering something to himself, but I can't understand a word he's saying. Without warning, he pushes himself off of the bed, grabs his discarded shirt and rushes past me. I don't get to look at his face. I can only stand there in the doorway and watch as he turns the corner, disappearing from my sight. A few seconds later, the front door slams.

"What's his problem?" I ask nobody in particular.

A pair of slim, warm, shaking arms wrap around my torso behind me, small and soft breasts pressing into my spine. I twist my body a little, turning my head to look behind me. I find Kairi burying her face into my shirt, some moistness escaping her eyes and remaining on my clothes.

"Kairi?"

She doesn't respond. I shake my way out of her grasp and turn around to face her. The instant I do, however, her arms are back around me, her head pressing into my chest. Once again, I can feel those breasts of hers sandwiched between our bodies. Heat comes to my face at the contact, covered as it may be. I open my mouth to speak, but my throat tightens and no words come out. What am I supposed to say? A hand raises, but then freezes mid-air, contemplating what to do. After a moment of silence, it's slowly brought down to her head. My fingers gingerly run through her hair, caressing the red that once smelled of death. My other hand places itself on her lower back, acting purely on instinct.

Her grip on my body tightens the instant my arm wraps around hers, further smashing her chest to mine. Neither one of us says anything for a while. The silence starts to get to me when I finally hear her speak.

"Roxas..."

I stare down at her with undivided attention, pausing the caresses of her hair. She inhales once before looking back up at me, locking our eyes together. A few leftover drops around her eyes are evidence of whatever tears failed to make it to my shirt. Something about her face is still off...I can't quite put my finger on it, but it's bugging me...What could it be?

Her swollen lips form a weak smile, and that's when it hits me. They've very recently been abused. The scene I walked in on suddenly makes sense. I can only imagine what exactly went on; even so, she's forcing herself to smile.

"Thank you."

"...for what?"

"For being there."

The smile vanishes almost as soon as it had arrived and she looks down, breaking our gaze. I tilt my head slightly.

"I know you don't like me...I don't know why, but whatever it is that I've done..." she pauses, "I'm sorry."

I feel her fingers grab at the back of my shirt.

"I don't want you to hate me...So, please...Tell me what it is that I've done wrong."

She really wants to apologize, huh. Do I really _want_ to blame her for ruining everything my brother and I had built? _Can_ I even bring myself to blame her for that? I'm not even sure if it's _worth_ being angry at anymore. Because Venii-san was taken out of my world, I was forced to venture out on my own as well. Because of that, I think, I've become a better person. I interact with people better. I'm able to smile at things others do. If I had been clinging to Venii-san this whole time, I'm not sure I would've been able to learn how to do that. So, maybe...just maybe...

...having my brother taken away from me ended up being the _best_ thing someone could've done for me.

I chuckle a little at realizing this, a tear running down my cheek at the pain of heart break that I endure with a smile. The girl in my arms looks up at me, hearing my faint laughter, and her blue eyes widen when my tear catches her attention. Her hand reaches up and her thumb wipes it away, concern painting her face.

"Damn it...I've been really stupid."

"Roxas?"

My hand pets the top of her head.

"This whole time, I've been blaming someone else for my problems...why I was losing Ven."

"...you mean me?"

I laugh weakly.

"Stupid, right?"

She tilts her head.

"But something was brought to my attention...Do you remember the day we first met?"

"Yeah...I do. You seemed so shut-in, just sitting under that tree...drawing...You didn't even want to join your brother for sports. Why?"

"Well...it's been coming up in my thoughts a couple times, and I didn't know why. But then...I noticed," I pause, thinking about the proper way to word this. "When you led Ven away...you looked back."

She blinks.

"And when you looked back...you looked sad."

No response.

"...you wanted me to follow...didn't you?"

She looks away. Shit. I'm wrong. I'm totally wrong.

"...I'm surprised you noticed."

Wait. I was right? I stare at her intently, waiting for further explanation.

"When you walked away anyway, I thought you didn't see. Or, maybe if you did, you didn't care."

I shake my head.

"I think you might have come into our lives at a bad time. That day we met was the anniversary our mother died. We were going to visit her grave."

"Oh...I'm sorry," she looks back up at me with an apologetic expression.

The fact that her lips are still swollen bugs me. Why did my brother have to be so rough on her if he likes her so much? It doesn't make any sense. Nevertheless, it's a shame. Those lips shouldn't have been abused in the way that they were.

And something tells me that maybe _I_ should be the one to let her know how they _should_ be treated.

The hand on top of her head slowly moves down the side of her face, carefully holding her cheek. My thumb brushes over her lips, taking special care in not to press too harshly. I can feel her shiver a little in my grasp at my touch. Despite how swollen they are, they are still soft, like rose petals. My eyes refuse to look away from her small mouth, putting all of my focus on that part of her face. I can see her cheeks turn a light red out of my parif. I notice too late that I have been leaning down closer to her face and only barely manage to stop myself when my lips are just an inch away from hers.

What am I doing?

I pull away from her, breaking out of her grasp. A hand places itself on the top of her head once more, and I give her a reassuring smile.

"Don't worry about anything, okay? You're forgiven."

I feel so much lighter now. All of that anger and jealousy must have been weighing me down this whole time. That dark cloud that surrounded my heart for so long is now, finally, gone. When she nods, my head leaves her head as I turn and start heading for the door.

"Where are you going?" Kairi asks, taking only two steps out from under the doorway. I look back at her over my shoulder, throwing on a sweatshirt.

"I'm going to look for Ven. His jacket is still here. That idiot must be freezing," I reply, shoving my feet into my shoes waiting by the door. After grabbing Venii-san's jacket, my hand turns the knob and I already have a foot out into the hallway when I feel a hand tugging at my sweatshirt.

"Hey."

I freeze in my step, looking back to her.

"For what it's worth...even if you've hated me all this time...I've never once had an ill thought about you. You're a good person, despite what you may think. I'm glad you're my friend," she smiles warmly.

I can't help but to smile at that comment. I thank her in a whisper before continuing on my way out the door. There's only one place my brother would go to in a situation like this.

* * *

After walking for about ten minutes, I finally arrive at my destination. There's a park in our neighborhood that Venii-san likes to go to everytime something happens and he needs to think or calm down. We have had our fights before, and every single time I've looked for him afterwards, I'd find him here; specifically, under the biggest tree in the entire park, right next to a pond. He's never once failed me. Not even today.

"Hey."

I approach him with a hand in my pocket, the other carrying his jacket. He's just sitting in the snow, back against the tree, facing the pond, shivering. He looks away from me.

"H-H-H-Hey."

I sit beside him, hanging him his jacket. He takes it and quickly puts it on, and his shivering goes away a few minutes later.

"I don't know what happened. But," I look at him. "it's not my business. I won't pry. This is between you and Kairi. She's waiting for us back home. What do you say we go back?"

He glances to his side at me.

"She's probably pissed or scared as hell. She won't want to talk to me."

"That is the biggest load of bullshit you have _ever_ given me, Ven," I glare at him. He shakes his head and looks away, a scowl on his face.

"Just avoiding things won't make them better. Sometimes you have you come to your senses and realize that what you're doing, even if you may think it's justified, is stupid."

"Well, looks who's all grown-up and smart _now_," Ven huffs sharply.

"We're not five anymore, _Ven_," I snap back. He shifts a little, folding his arms across his chest to keep warm.

"A lot of the things that I thought were right turned out to be wrong. And, it took me a really long time to realize this."

The damned cigarettes. The unnecessary hatred. The pointless jealousy. The suffocating clinging. The things I thought were okay, that I thought I had every right to do or think, were all wrong.

"I've wasted so much time blinded by my own stupid and selfish decisions. But then, I let the right person into my heart, and suddenly everything makes sense," I place a hand on his shoulder. "You just need to let the right person in."

He looks back at me. We stare at each other for a moment before he turns away.

"I can't go back right now. I love her so much, but I...I touched her...I couldn't control myself," he sighs, burying his face into knees he has hugged against his chest. "I'm a fucking monster."

"So tell her that. Tell her that you know what you've done. Tell her you're sorry and she'll forgive you."

"..."

"Sometimes you need to stop making excuses for the things you do or think, and sometimes you even have to admit the very thing you don't want to because it would mean that you were wrong the whole time."

"..."

"Even when you think you've admitted it, unless you know the difference between confessing what you've done that you _think _is wrong and confessing what you've done that you _know_ is wrong, because you could be apologizing for the wrong thing, you won't be completely free."

"..."

I stand up, annoyed.

"Fine. You can stay this way if that's what you want. _Go ahead_. I don't care," I glare down at him and speak in a calm voice. "I'm leaving. _I'm_ not going to stay out here and make my friend _wait_ for me to come back while _she's_ stuck at home, _alone_, and _I'm_ indulging in my god-damn **_self-pity_**."

I turn on my heel and take a few steps before I stop. I sigh, looking down at the snow the front of my shoes are buried in.

"...you're right. I _have_ been doing a lot of growing up, Ven. ...at least _one _of us is."

With that, I abandon him in the snow, leaving him nothing save for his jacket and those harsh, but true, words. I hope he thinks about them, and if he does, he damn sure better think about them carefully.

* * *

"Welcome ba- Roxas?" Kairi steps into the room, hearing the door shutting behind me. I remove my sweatshirt and shoes, kicking them off to the side.

"Where's Ven?"

"Damn idiot's gonna stay out in the snow. He thinks you're mad at him, so he doesn't really want to face you right now," I respond apathetically. I make my way over to the couch and plop onto it. Kairi sits beside me. I notice that she's no longer wearing the shirt and boxers I lent her yesterday, but instead wearing short, girly shorts and a white tanktop. Her hair seems darker and heavy; she must have taken a shower while I was out. The image of her breasts comes to mind, and I instantly shake it off. Whoa. Don't want to go there.

Then something suddenly hits me.

"Hey, Kairi."

"Hmm?"

"I just realized, since I've been avoiding you this whole time, I haven't gotten a chance to learn a lot about you. And what I do know, I only know because my brother tells me," I lean back into the couch, folding my arms behind my head, looking at the red-head beside me.

"What do you like?"

She giggles, flattered.

"Well...Heh. I like to cook, though I'm not very good at it. Uhm..." she ponders. I guess she must not like talking about herself.

"I like to watch anime and read manga, but you'll think my tastes are stupid."

"Nah. What kind of anime and manga?" I ask, expecting her to like the typical shoujo, romantic stuff my brother does.

"...the violent, scary kind."

Whoa. Wasn't expecting _that_ one.

"Violent and scary? You mean, like, for example, zombies?"

"Yes! I _love_ zombies!"

Holy shit. Definitely _not _expecting _**that**_ one.

"You're kidding!" I sit up, a grin on my face. She shakes her head, shyly smiling.

"Oh my God, that's awesome!" I laugh, clapping retardedly once or twice in my laughter. "Have you seen Highschool of the Dead?"

"I'm afraid I haven't had the chance to watch it..."

"You're freaking kidding me! You've gotta be! You've never seen it?" She shakes her head again. I stand up, totally excited. Looks like we have some common ground, after all.

"Oh my God, it's like fucking _legit_! I have all twelve episodes recorded on our TV right now!"

"Really?"

"Really!" I rush to the TV and start setting it up. "There's some popcorn in the top, left cabinet! Go ahead and make some!"

"Wait, we're watching it right now?"

"Yeah! Why not? You're totally missing out!"

I hear her laugh behind me, followed by her footsteps shuffling over to the kitchen. There are sounds of paper and plastic rustling and a minute later, the smell of melting, fake butter wafts throughout the room. Mmm. Delicious.

* * *

_"Heeeey, Taaakassshii! Listen to meee! Taakaaashiiiii!"_

"Wow. Does every girl in this show have boobs that bounce like that?"

"Aheheheh...Probably...You'll get used to the fanservice," I laugh nervously, rubbing the back of my neck. She gives me a suspicious look.

"What?"

"Nothing. You're such a boy," her attention returns to the TV. I am just about to speak, when suddenly the main female character's drunken voice screeches on the TV. I turn to face the screen as well.

We've been watching this show for almost three hours - we're on episode six - and my brother still has not returned home. I would normally have gotten worried, except he has sent me the occasional text, asking about Kairi's well-being. I keep telling him that he needs to come back and see for himself...which he has not yet done.

Dear God, I swear this girl is so annoying! All she ever talks about it this Hisashi dude! He died in episode 1! She needs to get over it!

_"Enough!"_

Uh oh. Looks like I'm not the only one getting pissed by her attitude.

_"Everytime you get down all you do is compare me to him! I am not Hisashi!"_

Kairi shivers a little from the cold.

"Here," I outstretch my arm, allowing her room to curl up beside me. I'm a little cold myself, despite wearing pants, and since the blanket I was using last night isn't big enough for two people, might as well conserve as much space as possible. She scoots into me, curling into my side as I drape the blanket over us.

_"Besides, he's **dead**! I killed him when he turned into one of those **things**!"_

"Thanks," she grins, turning back to the TV screen. I nod in return, taking careful note of the way it feels when she's pressed up against me like this. It's...actually kind of nice.

_"Give me a break and wake up to face reality! **I'm** still alive, and I'll **stay **alive! I'll definitely stay alive! So, don't bring him up anymore!"_

The door opens and shuts behind us. Kairi and I both look back to see Ven removing his shoes and jacket.

"I'm home..." he states softly. Kairi wiggles out from under the blanket and stands up, heading in his direction.

"Welcome back. Are you cold?"

I look back at the screen and freeze upon seeing what's on it.

"Nah, I'm fine. Thanks for worrying, though."

The boy and girl are close...panting...so very close...

"I'm sorry for being such a dick...I really didn't mean for things to get out of hand like that..."

"It's okay, Ven. I forgive you."

I glance back at the two of them before looking down at the empty space beside me. Why do I miss it so badly? It's cold and she had body heat, that has to be it. Or, maybe I just like cuddling. That could also be it.

_"Sometimes you need to stop making excuses for the things you do or think, and sometimes you even have to admit the very thing you don't want to because it would mean that you were wrong the whole time."_

My own words come back to haunt me.

_"Even when you think you've admitted it, unless you know the difference between confessing what you've done that you **think** is wrong and confessing what you've done that you **know** is wrong, because you could be apologizing for the wrong thing..."_

I look back at my brother and Kairi, who are exchanging kind words and making up for whatever it is that happened this morning. My heart begins to race and my head feels heavy as everything slowly begins to dawn on me. The reason why I like the way she holds herself against me; the reason why I enjoy her warmth; the reason why I like to hold her; the reason why I almost, almost, kissed her. The jealous feeling I would get whenever Ven went to be with her...what if I wasn't jealous of her, but jealous of _him_? Why I'm suddenly starting to notice and think about these things only after I've let go of what I've been holding onto for so long...It all starts to make sense.

_"..you won't be completely free."_

...oh my God.

"Are you hungry? We haven't had breakfast yet, but we had some popcorn. There's still some left, if you want."

"I'm good for now. I could really use a shower, though. My toes are frozen."

"Aheheheheh. That's what you get for being out in the snow for three hours, stupid."

"Heeeeeeey."

...**I _love_ her.**

* * *

**Author's Note:**

Here ya are! After making you all wait a month for more on this story, I've managed to get yet another chapter out! Go me! *another Roxas victory dance*

I actually wasn't originally planning on Roxas having romantic feelings toward Kairi. But after thinking about how Ven is going to feel toward her, I couldn't break it. I kept describing his feelings by saying they are "so strong, he truly thinks that they are destined to be together". Problem with that line of reasoning. Heheheheh. But, I think either one of the blondes is adorable with Kairi, regardless of the fact that I personally don't like her. In fact, I think Kairi with these two is pretty much the only pairing with her that I support or at least am fine with.

It could also be that anyone with Ven or Roxas would make an adorable couple. Damn blonde boys... *nosebleed*

Roxas has realized what someone might (or might not) have known all along. Dare this author asks what happens if Ven finds out?

I mean..._when_ he finds out. Kihihihihihihi.

Please review! I've been so good to all of you! D:


	10. Alumina

**Alumina**

**

* * *

**

Shit.

This _can't_ be good.

"So, what did you have in mind for breakfast, Kairi?"

This _definitely_ **can**_**not **_be good.

"I'm not sure…I was thinking maybe some tamagoyaki***** and a side of rice and toast?"

Am I even sure that it's what I think it is? I mean, it happened so fucking _suddenly_!

"Roxas?"

Not to _mention_ the fact that my brother still worships the ground she _walks_ on! I could ask how he knew his feelings and see if I'm the same, but –

"Roooxaaas?"

"H-Huh?"

I snap out of my thoughts and blink once or twice. Was she just talking to me? I look over my shoulder and the back of the couch to find Kairi and Venii-san staring at me.

"Sorry about that…I kinda spaced…What's up?"

She giggles. It's _adorable_.

"I was going to start making breakfast. I wanted to know if you had anything in mind."

"Oh…Uhh…n-no, nothing comes to mind. Get creative."

I watch as Kairi goes into thought for a moment before making her way into the kitchen. My eyes follow her movement, observing the way she moves when she walks. Her curves flow so fluidly and smoothly, I can't believe she's only _now _gotten my attention. Then again, I was in a fit of stubborn bastardry, trying to close my eyes to what I was afraid of not knowing; or, maybe, what I _did_ know and just didn't want to accept.

I feel somebody watching me.

Kairi has her back turned to me, so the only other person is…my brother. My gaze leaves the girl's smallish figure and turns to face Venii-san. Our eyes lock. I blink. The expression on his face is so blank, so indifferent. If anyone who didn't know him saw him like this, they'd think he was spacing out.

But _I_ know him, and he is_ not_ spacing out. As blank as his face may seem, it's his eyes that give him away. The lack of emotion on his face drastically contrasts the gleam in his eyes. They're so bright, shiny, _alive_, like _daggers_ of icy blue. They only look like this when he's pissed; right now, he's fucking _livid_. He seemed so calm just a moment ago…which means that whatever's pushed his buttons has happened very, very recently…perhaps as recently as a certain girl walking into the kitchen…and a certain boy failing to keep his eyes off of her as she moved. He saw…He _saw_.

I blink. His eyes stay focused on me, _burning_ into my very essence.

He takes a step towards me. The muscles in my shoulders tense up. Should I stay where I am? Should I run?

Shit!

He's so close now!

A hand raises, and I shut my eyes tightly, bracing myself for the inevitable. What to do, what to do –

It pets the top of my head.

I gasp slightly at the touch, jumping a little after being brought out of the thoughts I've managed to get myself lost in. My eyelids shoot wide open, and I blink once or twice before looking up at my big brother.

Oh fu– his eyes are so god-damn_ bright_! There no way that just my _staring_ at some girl he likes could get him this _pissed_.

He smiles toothily at me.

It's so fucking _fake_. I _know_ it is. He's _acting_ like he doesn't want me to know, but he _knows_ that I do, and he wants to rub my face in it.

"Thanks for coming out and putting me back in my place. I **needed** it."

"U-U-Uh…..s-sure…" I gulp.

That grin, that _lie_ he's trying to pass off as gratefulness, grows wider. His hand drops from my head, and he turns to join Kairi in making our breakfast.

My heart resumes beating, and suddenly I feel like I can breathe again. I snap my head and watch my brother and Kairi indulge in idle chatter, laughing, smiling, as if _nothing_'s wrong. A chill slivers through my spine.

Oh my God.

He _**knows**_.

* * *

I poke at my tamagoyaki with my chopsticks, not saying a single word as I listen to their conversation.

"This is delicious, Kairi! I thought you said you weren't good at cooking!"

"I'm not! And besides, you helped me, Ven!"

"You honestly think _I_ could make something edible? You've never seen me cooking with _**Roxas**_, then."

Another shiver trails through my being. He said my name with such coldness, such a stabbing hint of _poison_. Any appetite I've had up until this point is gone. Kaput. Ceases to exist. I'm dead…I'm so dead.

"Roxas, are you okay?"

I glance up at her, my eyeballs rolling to the top of my sockets since my head wants to keep hanging heavily.

"You haven't touched anything on your plate…are you sick?"

Oh yes, I'm sick. I feel like someone just struck me in the gut with a meat hammer.

"No…I'm fine. I just…have something on my mind. That's all."

"Oh…what is it?"

My eyes dart to my brother for a split second. I can read his thoughts exactly.

_Go ahead. Tell her __**she's**__ on your mind. She'll only break your heart just as she broke mine. Tell her. _

_I __**dare**__ you._

"Well…"

My attention returns to the untouched food on my plate.

"…tomorrow's Christmas. Do you really want to spend it here with _us_, instead of with your dad?"

Uh oh. I hope I didn't just blow it there.

"I see what you mean…If you want, I can go back home. It's not that big of a deal."

No…I don't want you to leave…

Not after I've _just_ realized something that was probably **right in front** of me the whole time. I still need to know if what I'm feeling is what I _think _I'm feeling and that I'm not just **fooling** myself, _grasping at straws _for something I never knew I needed.

Even more than that, I don't want to think I'm _wrong_, only for me to end up being _**right**_.

"Nah, I was just curious."

My chopsticks poke into the fried egg in front of me and I bring whatever it'll handle up to my lips. I consume it, chewing slowly. It's cold (my fault) and it has this strange flavor to it.

"How is it?" she looks at me with an unwavering gaze, waiting for my approval or rejection.

"…it's a little burnt. I think you left it on the stove too long," I grumble with dismay. I had high hopes from Venii-san's description. Did I get a bad part of the egg? No…theirs look exactly the same. Oh man, she wasn't kidding; she is _not_ very good at cooking.

"Roxas, don't be rude. She worked very hard on it," Venii-san scolds.

"If you want, I can help you learn how to properly cook a few recipes," I ignore him, turning all of my attention to the red-haired girl sitting across from me and beside my brother.

"Aheh…Thanks…"

Even if, through some _miraculous_ circumstance, this girl turns out to be the fucking _**love **__of my __**life**_, I will _not_ eat what she cooks if it'll just have the same fate as this morning's tamagoyaki.

"So!" Venii-sans throws his hands in the air and folds his arms behind his head, leaning back in his chair. "What's on the agenda for today?"

"I dunno, but I think I should give Axel a call and wish him a merry Christmas," I reply, rising from my chair with only half of the tamagoyaki left on my plate. I'm really not all that hungry, not after that look my big brother gave me just before breakfast.

"Axel?" Kairi inquires.

"Yeah. He's our roommate. He's visiting family right now, though," I explain, picking up my dish to dispose of the leftovers. Huh. She did work really hard on it…it'd be a waste to just throw it away…Maybe I'll save it for later.

"Would…he happen to have bright red hair? Green eyes? Two tattoos on his face that look like tear drops?"

Venii-san and I both twist ourselves to look in her direction.

"Yyyyyyeah...Why? Do you know him?" Venii-san asks, raising an eyebrow. Kairi grins sheepishly.

"He's my uncle."

"…oh," we sigh.

Three.

Two.

One.

"_WHAAAAAAAT!_"

"Ehh? You didn't know?" she asks, surprised.

My thumbs are instantly dialing Axel's cell.

**Riiiiiing.**

**Riiiiiing.**

**Riiii- *click***

"_Y'ello?"_

"AXEL, YOU GOD-DAMNED **SON** OF A _BITCH_! YOU HAVE SOME EXPLAINING TO DO!"

"_Whoa, whoa, whoa, calm down just a fuggin' __**minute**__. What did I do wrong __**this**__ time? Wait – you little __**shit**__, you found my stash didn't you!"_

"Wha– no! Wait, stash? Nevermind that! Why didn't you tell us you were Kairi's uncle!"

"_You never asked. When did she tell you?"_

"ABOUT FIVE SECONDS AGO, YOU ASS-HOLE!"

"_Chill with the language, man. Is this Ven?"_

"No, it's ROXAS. I thought you had caller-_fucking_-ID."

"_Uuuuuugh…Are you calling just to bitch to me, Rox?"_

"WELL?"

"_I don't see why you're getting your itty bitty panties all up in a bunch. Yeah, we're related. She's my niece. So?"_

"SO, did you know about what was going on with her dad's girlfriend?"

"…"

"ANSWER ME."

"_I might have known…"_

"WHY DIDN'T YOU HELP HER?"

"Roxas, I think you should calm down…" she says as a hand grabs my shoulder.

"_Wait, is she there NOW?"_

"YES. She's staying with us for a while until this gets resolved."

I inhale deeply. I really do need to calm down. After regaining my composure, I shrug off Kairi's hand and walk to our bedroom. I shut the door behind me before going over and collapsing onto my bed.

"_You better now?"_

"Yeah…sorry. How did you know?"

"_She called me the other day asking for advice and explained the whole thing to me. Poor girl's just so confused. Y'know, her biological mother abandoned her and left Reno."_

"I know."

"_She's already lost one mother. I don't think she wants to lose another, but I also don't think she wants to have someone like that bitch as her mother, either."_

"You don't like her either, eh?"

"_Never met her."_

"Ehh?"

"_Yesterday, Kairi sent me the pictures she took of that woman and her boy-toy. She wanted to show Reno, but didn't get the chance to. All I know is that if a chick cheats on her god-damn boyfriend, she's considered a bitch in my book."_

"Bad past experience?"

"_Shut up."_

I laugh half-heartedly. A hand runs fingers through my hair, my eyes staring up at the ceiling.

"_You there?"_

"Yeah…Hey, Axel. Does Kairi talk to you a lot?" I manage to breathe out, shaky and weak. This is it. When Venii-san broke down all those months ago, he said that he was "rejected". It's possible that maybe she's had her eye on someone else.

But what are the chances that it's _me_? Pfft.

"_Yeah, she does, actually. I've always kind of been like a big brother to her. Why?"_

"Does…" I gulp. "…does she, uhh…t-talk about someone?"

"_Why?"_

"Uhh…no reason. Just curious."

"…"

My heart pounds against my chest. I try my best to keep my breathing under control. C'mon, Axel…please respond…don't leave me in suspense for much longer…

"_She does. And before you ask, I ain't saying who. Took an oath."_

"That's alright. What does she say about them?"

"_Just how amazing and wonderful he is, and how they're made for each other, and she knows it's love, blah blah blah; all that girly crap."_

"Axel…"

"_It's true. The thing that bugs me, though, is that she tells me that he doesn't know because he never wants to be near her. Ever."_

"Oh…"

"_It's like he's avoiding her on purpose, and she doesn't understand why. She didn't do anything wrong."_

"I see…"

"_Ahh, well. Must be just a phase these teenage girls go through. They like a guy and think they're destined to be together. He's probably just a __**selfish little bastard**__, too."_

"..."

"_Rox?"_

"Sorry, Axel. I gotta go. Merry Christmas, okay?"

"_Yeah. Merry Christmas to you, too. Take care of yourself, alright?"_

"Alright. See ya when you get back."

"_Yeah. Hey, Rox?"_

"Hmm."

"_Tell Kairi that I'm sorry she has to put up with a __**selfish little bastard**__ like you, okay?"_

I almost drop the phone. My mouth stays agape, and I think I make a really weird, squeaking noise from how tight my throat.

"Axel, are you saying that– "

"_I ain't sayin' **nothing**."_

I can practically feel the grin plastered onto his face.

"_I'll see ya soon, little buddy. Have a happy holiday."_

"Thanks…bye."

***click***

I don't know how long I just lay there, heavy. My mind needs time to straighten itself out. It's cluttered all over the place, just trying to attempt to get even remotely close to comprehend what just happened. That was a hint…Axel _definitely_ gave me a hint – no, he practically _told_ me the answer.

It's me.

...

It's _me_.

...

**It's **_**me**_**.**

I close my eyes, breathing deeply. I need to remain calm. Can't over think this. Let's review what I know:

Just twenty-four hours ago, I believed I had reason to grudge against her.

Just eighteen hours ago, I believed I had every right to hate her.

Just _twelve_ hours ago, I was lying here. And she was lying here, pressed against me.

And I didn't mind. Not really.

What exactly happened in that short amount of time to make me change the way I see her?

* * *

"You two totally suck at this game!" Venii-san teases Kairi and me as we walk home. We just spent the afternoon playing in the park, making snow angels, building snow men, and having the most god-awful snowball fight in the almost-seventeen years I've been alive.

"Shut up! _**So**__ sorry_ we're not as athletic as you are!" Kairi pouts. Her cheeks and nose are red, radiating because of the cold.

It was two against one…me and Kairi against Venii-san. He totally owned us. Badly.

It was okay, though.

Occasionally, I would manage to sneak a little bit of snow and shove it down his back when he was distracted. He would respond by shoving a ball of slush in my face. When I got the chance to, I would drop some snow down Kairi's back, as well. I don't know what kind of expression I had on my face when I watched her squirm and squeal and jump around in a pathetic attempt to get it out. I wonder how big my grin was when I saw her glare at me, her face so red with blush.

It was cute.

I laugh when I think back on the look she had.

"It's not funny, Roxas! I was on _your_ team!" Kairi pouts some more. Before I can respond with whatever witty remark I just came up with, a stinging cold runs down the flesh on my back.

"Ajwhtkjwht!"

My lips let some incomprehensible nonsense escape as I dance and gallop around, arms bent down my back and hands claws desperately to either retrieve the snow or shake it out. I hear the two laugh at me.

"It's a good thing it's winter; revenge is a dish best served cold," my brother grins.

Finally, I manage to get the bits of snow to fall out from the bottom of my jacket. I sigh with relief, the cold gone for the most part. My eyes glare at him. I receive a cocky smile as a response. Revenge, huh…

**Oh**. I see how it is.

"You two are so immature," Kairi sighs, stepping toward a cross-walk. She waits by the pole for the signal that it's okay to cross the street. My brother and I move to approach her, only to have her walk away the second we do when the little white man on the other side of the street lights up.

"We're boys. What do you expect?" he asks, a slight jog in his step as he catches up. I chase after them, slipping a bit on the frozen slush that remained on the asphalt. I don't fall, but I _do_ almost get hit by a car that screeches to a halt just a little too late.

"Asshole!" Venii-san yells at them as he pulls me onto the sidewalk. Kairi's gloved hands grab at my jacket.

"Are you okay?"

She sounds so worried, so protective, so _caring_. I smile and tell her I'm alright. How can I do anything else, but lie to her and tell her I'm okay when really, I'm _not_. _Anything_ to get her to turn away. I don't want to get too close. I have to severe any romantic ties before they even come up.

It's easier to never start something and regret it than it is to break away once it has begun and regret letting it go.

Then again…she's caring because I almost got hit by a fucking _car_!

"Let's go back home. It's getting dark out," she warns the two of us. We nod and follow her, like little ducklings.

_Ducklings_ don't hate their mother one day, then question their romantic feelings toward her the next. _Ducklings_ don't want to experiment with those feelings on their mother. And _ducklings_, sure as hell, don't want go lusting after their mother.

Yet here we are, acting like god-damn _animals_.

A strange vibe creeps through my being. This place feels familiar. No, it _is_ familiar. We've been here before. A little more sun and I don't think I would've recognized it.

'Course, having a certain posse standing under a certain streetlamp helped identify it as well.

"Hey, look – Blondie's back for more!"

I shudder. Oh, no. It's that _man_ again…Braig, I think his name is. After going for two months of evading them, they _now _decide to show up?

Wait. They can't do anything to us. There are _witnesses_.

"Just keep walking," my brother murmurs to Kairi.

The closer we get to walking past the streetlamp, the closer my body moves towards hers, lightly pressing my arm to hers. Small, delicate fingers lace themselves with mine. My thumb gently massages her hand.

I squeeze tightly.

My eyes lock with Braig's, and I notice that the scars and eye patch on the man from Halloween are gone. So, it was just a costume. All too suddenly, that night flashes before my eyes.

**How helpless we both were.**

_It wasn't real._

My eyes narrow into a glare.

**How scared.**

_It was just a god-damn toy._

"Long time, no see! How've ya been?" he sneers. Dilan and Aeleus snicker.

**How vulnerable.**

_We weren't in any real danger at all._

A large hand roughly grabs my wrist. It pulls me away from Kairi and my brother.

**How weak.**

_It was all a fucking lie._

I let go.

**How stupid.**

_We were almost ruined._

"Roxas!"

_And it was for nothing._

I spin on the ball of my foot, my fist ramming into his face with force. The instant the two collide, some electric shock surges through the nerves in my arm. I hear something crack. I see him fall. I feel his hand let go of me. I smell blood running from his broken nose. My hand grabs hers.

And we start running.

Those guys start shouting things I can't hear. They're too far away at this point. I don't even realize how much faster than her I'm running; I'm practically dragging her behind me, and yet she still makes an honest effort to keep up. My legs hurt. My body is on fire.

But we don't stop running. Not until we reach home.

"Thanks, for, ditching, me, Roxas!" Venii-san keels over, bent down with his hands on his knees for support, panting between each word. It _might_ have been unnecessary to punch the guy in the face, but I couldn't help it.

I was _done_ being weak, and he deserved it.

"Sorry, Ven. I didn't want to risk something like _that _happening again," I look away, unlocking our door with my key. I'm worn out, but I don't want to collapse until we are safe inside.

"Like what happening? What was that all about?" Kairi asks, still catching her breath. She hasn't let go of my hand this whole time. I hope I didn't accidentally break it.

"Nothing you need to worry about."

I open the door and lead the other two inside. My brother shuts the door behind us before announcing that he'll be taking a shower to warm himself up, kicking off his shoes and making his way to the bathroom. Kari removes her shoes as well, setting them aside for later use, and lets go of my hand.

It's only after this that I begin to feel the pain that was probably there all along.

"Shhhhiiii – Fuuuuuuu – Agh!" I hiss, grasping my right hand with my left.

"Roxas? Are you okay?"

I look up to find my eyes meeting hers. Worry befalls her face yet again. I force a grin onto my face through the pain.

"Yeah…totally fin– " I'm interrupted by my own grunt, gripping my hand tighter.

"Let me see."

Her hands gingerly, kindly, take mine. She examines the injured hand carefully, poking at it once or twice in the hopes that I wouldn't react negatively. When she hears me wince, a soft apology escapes her lips.

"It doesn't look broken…but you probably bruised the knuckle," she concludes, dropping my hand from her grasp.

"Well, isn't _that_ just fine and dandy," I laugh a little to cope with the throbbing pain in my hand. If it is, in fact, a bruise, it should go away eventually. Nothing to worry about, I guess.

Kairi moves toward the couch, plopping down lazily onto it. She must be worn out from our afternoon shenanigans. I bite my lower lip, debating with myself whether or not to join her and finally find out what it is I'm feeling at this point.

I _have _to know.

"Hey, Kairi," I gulp, following her motion to our leathery piece of furniture. She looks up, acknowledging me. I sit on the end of the couch as she sits up to make room for me.

"Ha…Have you ever been confused about the way you felt toward someone?"

There. I said it. Now to await her answer and –

"Yes, I have, actually."

Oh. So we're not so different, after all.

"And h-how did you manage to sort them out?" I can't make eye contact with her. God, it's so _awkward_ talking about this with her. When she smiles, it calms my nerves a little.

"Well…I guess it's the way my heart speeds up every time we touch that lets me know what it is I feel toward that person."

That blush gracing her face is a really nice shade of pink.

"Oh? Like, with holding hands, and…and hugging, and…k-kissing?"

"Not quite. We don't make a lot of physical contact, and we've never kissed…"

I can change that.

"Oh…" I scoot myself onto the cushion beside her, twisting my body to face her.

"…uhh…D-Do you mind…if I try something?"

Oh, damn. I hope I'm not going too far with this.

"No, I don't mind. What is it?" she looks at me with a small, innocent, _naive_ smile. She has no idea – or, if she does, she's doing a damn good job hiding it.

"…can you c-close your eyes?"

Oh, oh damn. I _really_ hope I'm not going too far with this.

But she complies, concealing those glassy, blue eyes of hers behind pale eyelids. She just sits there, patiently waiting. And I just sit here, making her wait while I argue with myself about the consequences of what I might – or might not – go through.

She's _waiting_. But only because she doesn't _know_ what's in store for her.

She's _given_ me her **heart**. But **I** don't know if I want to give her _mine_.

She wants to give herself to _me_. But she's not **mine** to take.

She's _ready_. But I'm **_not_**.

Too much time passes before I tell myself to shut the hell up so I can proceed and get this over with. Holding my breath, I prop myself up with my left hand on the couch as I slowly, cautiously, lean in. I take one last look at her small, perfectly shaped and healed lips. After this, I might not be able to look at her face the same way.

The tips of our noses are only three inches apart.

I gulp nervously, trying to keep my breath steady. I've already failed at holding it; might as well try to keep it under control. If I held it any longer, my lungs would've exploded, granted I would've been able to hold it long enough for my lungs to explode. But I can't hold it in.

Two inches apart.

I can't stop shaking. Why does this have to be more nerve-wracking than it needs to be? It's just physical contact. Everyone will go through it _at least_ a hundred times in their life – just once is not enough. I mean, hasn't it been proven by now that touching is one of the most necessary and basic aspects of life? That's all this is: a part of life, one that I need to get through so I can get on with the rest of _mine_.

One inch apart.

There's no turning back now. I can't wuss out after going so far and have it crash and burn right in front of me. My right hand clenches, and I ignore the pain of the bruising bone forced against the inner layers of skin and muscle. I inhale once. My head tilts a little (this is what I've happened to see in my brother's manga). I close my eyes.

I let my lips ghost over hers.

That wasn't so bad, was it? It was over and done with so quickly, so easily. And here I was, worrying. I guess it would be no big deal.

_Except, I felt **my heart skip a beat**._

My eyes open and I pull away hastily, sitting myself upright. Her eyelids flutter open, and she stares into my soul, surprised, unsure of what to say. That light pink turns deep. I look away, somewhat ashamed.

What am I doing…I'm screwing myself over, that's what I'm doing. There's no possible way that you can let go of hatred that's long run dry, realize you have romantic feelings for that grudge in the same hour, then expect your first kiss – intended to be a god-damn _experiment_ – to be some sort of cosmic force that binds you two together for fucking _eternity_ because it told you that you were in _love_. There's just no way in hell.

Then I must be in heaven.

Because she manages to steal one from me while my guard is down, and I don't protest.

I'm shocked, yes. My eyes widen and I blink in surprise. It dissolves away quickly, however. I melt into it. It just feels natural, it feels _right_. My heart starts speeding like a drunk on the run from the cops after robbing a bank. My eyes close, and I inhale through my nose as she presses her mouth just a little more against mine. Of course I allow it.

We're like this for a moment, and the entire time, I feel like I'm being watched. It gets to the point where it actually starts to bug me. I open one eyelid to peek at the girl in front of me. Her eyes are closed. Ven is still in the shower – I can hear it running. So, the only other person who could be watching is God. I close my eyelid, laughing internally at that thought.

Right. Like _God_ would be watching two kids doing something like _this_.

It must be my imagination.

* * *

**Author's Note:**

Hurrah! Done with chapter 10 already! Hopefully all you readers are enjoying this story so far. Probably two or three more chapters (maybe more) until the climax!

And before anyone accuses this of turning from a RokuVen into a Roxiri: be patient. Things are not always set in place for long. :D

*Tamagoyaki = basically fried egg omlette. Typical dish in Japanese breakfasts. Look it up.

PLEASE REVIEW! D:


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